about what women want from men but rarely do we talk about what men want from women in relationships so we'll also address some of those topics okay but uh storytelling nandani okay so uh what's your first memory what about my first fiery relationship in life oh okay so ranveer and i used to we were in pe bio class together it's like a extra subject that you pick in your icsc when you're whatever like giving your tenth and ranveer and i used to run around our school jogging track where all i would hear was like oh my god i like her so much why doesn't you like me why don't you like we want to talk to her why don't you talk to her why don't you talk just like dude like you need to chill dude like 15 year old ranveer was so obsessive like i think he had like watched too many bollywood movies and he was like ah this is love i want this i'll give the audience some background on this because there was


give the audience some background on this because there was this girl i liked a lot in school who was kind of like a hard to get girl okay at least used to act like she was heartbroken you want to say something i don't okay so uh she was hard to get good and for me i had to um impress her and i also wanted to impress her in a dharmakedar style so what does my brain do in front of me there was a geometry box because we had just started geometry in nine standard yes so i took the divider not the compass you know the divider with the two like dhanas i two two i know i look here and then i scratched out her first name first letter on my tricep but dude you know what the irony of that is that pooja had a phobia of like people coming with sharp things near her hands and i said yeah especially around her wrists and pooja used to obsessively wear a watch all through school because she was worried that some glass


all through school because she was worried that some glass was going to fall and cut her head through so like that was not the best tactic with puja dude i did one more thing when it came to puja uh which is that to really because this divider trick didn't work with her okay so the next weekend i was at home and i you know you sometimes get bitten by a mosquito and then there's a scab that forms and if you pull off the scab then blood starts coming off so i had a mosquito bite on my foot so i started bleeding and i use the blood as paint and do a heart on a paper oh no dude you know what like i found i was today years old when i found out about this because i had seen the heart that was drawn in ranveer's blood oh my god oh my god so yeah i i should have become a youtuber that age dude so my creativity would have got a channel rather than all this dude the one thing now


channel rather than all this dude the one thing now that like dude like i i love you guys separately you all were like not a great relationship yeah and i hated the fact that y'all like just dragged me into the middle of all of it like in the sense of like why was i there i was a third party entirely and i distinctly remember one phone call that you know conference calls were all the thing then and uh so ranveer asked me to like not tell her that you know he's on the call and because he's my friend and i'm loyal to him and i we have an understanding okay like hey man you're gonna be like quiet on this call right like she's gonna be on this call you're gonna be quiet and so i pick up the call and then i start talking to her and then she goes like are you sure he's not on this call and i was like yeah he's not he's not on this call i promise you i love you if i


this call i promise you i love you if i didn't love you i wouldn't say it and then ranveer starts to hack a table like over and over and over again and then he finds some bloody burdens and he starts like backing them and then she's like why are you making these sounds with someone here and i'm like no no one's here it's just us i'm just crazy i just love doing this stuff and then he's just like going oh i'm just like oh my god what a lunatic like you are like an absolute lunatic in school that's why we remain friends because he used to just take my yeah i still do so uh how did you see that relationship mature between the ages of 15 and say 18 and a half 19. i mean it just kept getting more toxic it didn't like it didn't i think that's the problem right i think both of you like have grown significantly as people after that relationship like that is not to say i mean like that's not to dismiss


not to say i mean like that's not to dismiss your relationship in any way shape or form it happened right but like it's just that i don't think that you guys brought out the best in each other right and because i know both of you individually as people even today like i know that both of you did not bring out the best in each other and you just you needed to find like a so what's the third person lesson here the third person lesson is that when people ask you hey can i tell you something you say no no i mean i mean what can the viewers take away from this love story uh i would say that uh put some things into perspective you're 15 years old you're not going to marry the person that you're with at 15. just like breathe you know like it's okay you will find someone your life is not ending at seven years names and you know like i'm happy for you like i'm happy for you like i'm happy for whatever it brought to you


like i'm happy for whatever it brought to you do you remember the next girl i don't know if you do not not the good one i do remember the next girl i do let's call her sanjara okay so what about sanjana do you remember i mean like i remember of sanjana the complex history of what happened in relation to like everything else that you can say it was happening at the time so no with that one like i i would say that you were the one being taken advantage of in that situation look for all of your like larger your heart inside you know is like a little mcdonald's softy like that's what it's like so it's like soft and can melt if people are like mean to it so like you know like not anymore not anymore okay well whatever in love maybe we're talking in love oh and own love yeah not in life life is fine but like you have a tendency to like really fall for the women that you are really falling for so


for the women that you are really falling for so i mean like i think you've uh actually now if i consider it with like what i know of the current situation i think that you've gotten a lot better in terms of like guarding your heart but there was one but i wish to still be a pagan in love but bro that's not helpful like to be that person like no woman wants a man who's going to create drama in her life drama like pink raindrops and all that that sounds bad but like like you know what i mean like like happy drama no nothing bad happy drama you will get like some dramatic gift because that's the only time when happy drama is like oh you know like i said we'll be walking on a seaface somewhere and suddenly people will break out into what's the thing flash mob uh people break out no fly that's okay all that is fine okay you want to do that kind of that's fill me bro that's not drama drama drama is like


bro that's not drama drama drama is like you know hair pulling like name calling that happened no no i'm just saying that that's what that qualifies as drama and first of all okay you all were like only this much away from like whacking each other let's be very honest about that as in uh from taking a whack i would take i wouldn't raise my hand yeah yeah because i have to protect my brand also no i'm kidding but really am i no no i don't think so i think it's because like you have a very strong influence of swati auntie like on you so i i don't think that that is the case like in the sense of where if you're like in love with someone or whatever that you would and i believe it that you went like very above and beyond i just think that both of you are not like fully formed as humans are you talking about puja puja like you and people are not fully formed humans at that point of time so


not fully formed humans at that point of time so like i think you can't really like you know judge you guys too harshly based on that okay with the sanjana one like i mean it was brief but i think it was for the best for you because i think that you were too emotionally invested in that situation the context is she was dating someone she told that guy that she was into him and ranveer was this crazy guy who was after her and she told me that she's kind of caged in that relationship and that she kind of wants to have a relationship with me so she played around with both of us for like one two years dude that is crazy though right like i i'm very happy that you got out of that because that was not a good situation for you to have been in especially because you were the one who was more emotionally invested in that relationship and she was invested in like no one finding out what's happening yeah do she would uh like


out what's happening yeah do she would uh like lie a lot to a friend group and kind of draw these false narratives about me and people stop being my friends and at that age when you're cut off as a friend from friend groups it's damn dark yeah so it pushed me into like a damn dark place like i got into alcohol i got into like hasn't i became an alcoholic i don't know if you remember how much i used to drink yeah i do i do i do uh dude like uh so when i got ostracized from my friend group i was i used to listen to simple plan they have this song called welcome to my life which is ultimate emo jam and like it's like a very like kind of song so i have to basically listen to that and cry a lot so sorry for ostracizing you dude this was before you i wouldn't give you that credit you had too much fun with me to like be able to like ostracize me i would also pitch my


to like ostracize me i would also pitch my plans to you in terms of with puja i'm planning on doing this with sanjan i'm planning on doing this dude you tell me who else you will get will sniff your armpits for you in front of women you used to have this face you don't remember this where you used to like show up and go like hey bro smell me now smell me now and like oh out of conjure out of being conscious yeah yeah and me like the dapper would go like okay [Laughter] i forgot about that dude but anyway what am i saying next who after sanjana after sanjana after sanjana was a good one yeah i really liked what let's let's call the good one was really nice like i think she was very she was a good influence to her yeah and a good person and like you met her at the right time like in the sense of you were meant to meet her at that time because like i think insane and stable


at that time because like i think insane and stable yeah put you back together from that like situation intense relation bad in intense relationships uh meghna was like a breath of fresh air like she was like but if i'm being honest like you did her a little dirty i didn't i didn't treat her well dude because um like she deserved better i'll tell you what the one i was yeah i agree and i apologize to it till today i didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated out of my maturity out of my dude i was too concerned with my career in engineering college i was like dude where the is my career going so most of my energy was into that direction uh and and somewhere i'll tell you the honest truth is and this i say in retrospect when i look back at that relationship that i feel i was searching for someone who happened she was too normal and i like that's probably that's probably a little accurate because like she


probably that's probably a little accurate because like she was definitely the most like stable straight edge of the people that you have dated what else do you have to say about meghna because i remember partying a lot with you and her and like all our friends from that phase of life yeah uh i met zarwan for the first time like at some party like someone's partying but uh again so what was your learning as a what was your third person learning about this relationship i felt like maybe you know it was a very like if i had to say it it was like a very giving kind of love like her side from her side in the sense of like yeah with migna i will talk about it from her side only because like to be honest like i felt like you could have been better no i could have man yeah and like with her uh like it was amazing actually at that age to see someone who's like so selfless in the way that they kind of love people um like i always felt like


kind of love people um like i always felt like that like what was she getting out of this you know like she's like guys what i would often wonder what like she she was just like a really nice person i think someone i was passing on the pain of the previous two girls too yeah for sure i was treating her the way the previous two girls treated me in some ways yeah but i mean i'm glad that you now know that that's not a fair thing to do i encourage young guys who are in that same zone or young girls or whatever to just not make that same mistake don't pass on the pain of your previous relationship to the next person yeah and i like to tell myself that no new traumas like what has happened now whatever has traumatized you already like that's fine but don't create new traumas for yourself like deal with your like when it happens and move on yeah but there is another kind of practical angle to why i broke up with megna which


angle to why i broke up with megna which is that um i i felt that as we grew up i couldn't see us together in the long term because which is fair yeah i just i felt like i mean i if i even tell her this today she won't agree with me but that's the point i used to agree on very few things so i feel like which is fair you know like you want to be with someone who like kind of more intrinsically gets it yeah which is fine okay so moving so bro listen i've just realized okay that i've realized what the issue was with meghna okay the issue was that she didn't need to be saved like you have this thing right like you have this like innate savior complex from inside about like i have to protect the women that are around me meghna didn't need that she didn't need like your white horse and whatever i imagine she might have liked it anyway but i feel like somewhere along the lines you felt like this chick is


along the lines you felt like this chick is not going to need me and you kind of like yeah that want to know something dark okay it'll spoil the flow no no dude i saw my mom and dad go through a lot and i mostly from my mom's side so when you grow up seeing your mom kind of not going through a good time yeah you innately want to help your mom so you end up trying to help the girls you're dating so that's what happened but moving on to the next one let's call her bubbly okay like bunty or bubbly because this was the iconic bubbly bubbly yeah yeah so what was the and i choose bubbly because this is the darkest one of all bro like honestly it's not like i knew bubbly that well i think like off your major serious relationship she was probably the one that i knew the least which is actually a red flag like in retrospect now that i understand relationships my closest friends should know the person i'm


relationships my closest friends should know the person i'm dating for a while and somewhere i felt like bubbly chose not to get to know my closest because she didn't gel with you all and that's fine but i read somewhere that basically if you want to equate how long your relationship can go you see how your partner gets along with your closest friends like can they have conversation and all because is there any pressure on the closest friends to also be here in this particular fun little scenario of yours like do the friends also have to behave or only the partner [Music] no so dude like i met bubbly a few times and then you did that really shitty thing to me that people in relationships do you know when they've broken up for one freaking day and they go like no no no no tell me tell me tell me what you didn't like about her and then i was honest with you when i told you that this is my list of things i don't like about her and then the


of things i don't like about her and then the next day it was like hey you know me and bubbly are back together are you joking like are you joking right now like pura like i have like move on yesterday so i thought like for whatever i think like a lot of ways she was like good for you because she was like high maintenance enough like for you to like it was a challenge for me to engage my mind correct and then there was also that savior complex thing because she was very like girly and she liked being protected and whatever whatever so i think that in itself was wow that's very accurate i've known you for a long time i used to dig the girly stuff so much man i know dude when she used to wear like floral dresses and when she used to wear like the girlie her outfits would get the more i would like melt you know what i mean anyway that's just me yes i know go on go on uh but i felt like okay


go on go on uh but i felt like okay like this is a very like maternal thing but i felt like usually like laksanti with you you know like i just felt like you could have done better emotionally in terms of like what someone was with you for and like maybe it's not true right because like i said i like prefaced it with the fact that i knew her the least of your girlfriends right but the vibe that i always got was that like i'm not gonna say the word that i use generally but like thought i felt like she was she was really happy about the beer biceps thing you know like oh like i'm dating beer biceps it was a little bit like that and uh that's obviously not what she sounds like i'm just a like please don't like read into it but like that was what i felt and so like i felt that like you deserved someone who was kind of like with you because she loved all of this yeah and i don't think she loved all of


yeah and i don't think she loved all of it yeah and then not even like the basic things i feel like she was the kind of person who uh kind of had that thing in your mind that i can change this about you given time like that was what i felt why do girls have that because i've heard men complain about this about the part oh it's a fixer upper this fixer-upper concept is a very conditioned thing it's like in all the media constantly like look at the plot of your average rom-com like this guy who doesn't want to settle down he's such a player and then this girl who's so awkward but she meets him and you know like oh now suddenly his life has changed and he's just like in love with her and he's a completely different person but that's all garbage right but that is what we watch when we're so young and so impressionable that of course that's how we grow up like what else was it going to be i wonder if guys have


it going to be i wonder if guys have that about girls or guys are just too lazy to like think that deep do you think i don't think that guys are too lazy i think it's also like so like where the mainstream media tends to condition women towards a certain way the mainstream media also completely ignores the man's side of it right like in what in like these rom-commi movies do we really understand of how the man really feels about things and that in itself is not a good thing have you seen that movie that matthew mcconaughey and that that famous actor rom-com how to lose a guy how to lose a guy it was a flop movie yeah but uh dude when i watched it now after understanding relationship psychology there's so many good narratives in relation to psychology this is exactly what guys don't like she does the 10 things that any guy would hate like in a relationship like not giving space at all bitching about the family you know


space at all bitching about the family you know like like that that's a great that's a great random movie recommendation in the middle of this podcast yeah that was a fun movie what did you learn as a third person viewing that one uh i think it was like honestly viewing that one i just wanted you to do better but like you were obviously very very in love with this person so it was like kind of a thing of learning how to keep quiet myself you know because like you know that is hard for me right like i will tell you like my opinion about things but like that one i feel like i censored my opinion the most about and like i mean like bubbly if you're watching this screw my opinion right who gives a but like i'm just saying that i felt that like you deserved a little bit better like someone with like who loved you more purely for lack of a better way of like like yeah i think it's because of the fact that maegna


i think it's because of the fact that maegna was the previous benchmark for me and meghna loved you so freaking unconditionally that it was just like a condition bro like what's your problem like so that was like probably where i was coming from you know uh i think um [Laughter] now someone will do to you what you kind of did to me and and i learned it dude you know also bubbly started with bubbly cheating on someone to be with me and then that also ended up happening yeah i know uh if you i doubt you remember this but uh when you guys had first gotten together i had told you that um the this start doesn't bode a very good like listen no in the sense of like i don't know do like i'm in no place to judge how relationships start i'm just saying that like she i had felt that she had jumped on the bandwagon because you were this like rising youtube star i don't know whether she would have necessarily looked


i don't know whether she would have necessarily looked at you the same the first time she met you if that's if you had just been like some garden variety engineer working at like a consultancy or something that's all fair man the lesson here for me was honestly and i say this with all seriousness listen to your friends when they are giving you relationship advice like i strongly strongly feel that this whole experience like you are that that friend to some extent kanti who's another like old friend he had said some similar things but dude i'm still suffering with bubbly uh it's okay dude it'll go yeah so it's fine like it takes time to get over something that is real uh one must always take solace in the fact that it was real yeah so this is i mean what i've realized a lot about the working of a man's mind through this whole bubbly situation and uh i've i've gone for like therapy about it i've gone for therapy with people who treat uh soldiers


gone for therapy with people who treat uh soldiers for ptsd and one of the therapists told me that the way a man's mind perceives pain is uh like your emotional pain will also be read as physical pain so if you don't give it time to heal and you just don't do anything so if you don't give a time to heal it's not going to heal my immediate response after this whole bubbly situation was go go 10x on work you know because i thought i'd bring stability and even though it wasn't the best relationship the relationship brought like a juggernaut of stability to my life yeah so uh like i kind of started searching for stability through work which brings us now after the three four most productive years of my life yeah which is great it's been fantastic for my career but somewhere that emotional injury is not recovered and i'm i'm working on it constantly honestly i think that um also sorry one last thing the momentum of the work now i've


last thing the momentum of the work now i've taken up so much work that i actually don't have time to chill you know yeah i mean it's you're doing it because like you don't want to deal with that thing but like dude like consider this whatever your this new partner whoever is the ideal right that you will eventually one day marry it's not fair on them either that you don't deal with this stuff before and it's not fair for you to take that baggage into that relationship like i don't think of her at all but i think of the break up a lot you know what i mean i think i'm completely over her the breakup also came with a lot of unresolved issues right and the the fact that there was the fact that she there was infidelity involved in the thing that so obviously it creates like a little bit more of a scab than like if you guys had just broken up because you know like think actually you know the things not working out because you don't have


know the things not working out because you don't have time and stuff is like a hard one too but like if you guys are just broken up just generally because it wasn't working out it would have i think healed a lot faster if they hadn't been that thing you know because like there's always the thing of like it hurts you from inside that like someone that you loved and trusted so much kind of did that to you so that betrayal will take a little longer to heal than the average one is what i would think let's see how long it takes that's my that's where i stand at now yeah but i think that uh honestly that healing comes by being single just saying no you want to say something over the last two three years of my life feel free no i don't want to say something about the last two three years of your life i'm just saying that like don't distract yourself with that stuff because that's not the real game the real game for you is


not the real game the real game for you is like healing so that you are ready for the person that you want to marry and you also know it so there's no point of like like who am i to tell someone hey this is how you should live your life but like all i'm saying is that knowing you the person you have so much like like a paucity of time like very little time right on your hands so why are you expending your time effort energy into like things that are going to go nowhere it's like if in business you decided to exclusively invest in dead businesses like for what reason like it's not bringing you anything what will bring you something is if you actually take the time to heal the bits that are still knowing at you because that will make you open to getting the person that you really want so i think i'm getting there and i hear a lot of women giving me this advice and i've had men telling me that the only thing that that healed


telling me that the only thing that that healed them from their experience these are like senior or really wise men who've been mentors to me a lot of them told me that they only healed once they got into a new yeah but that's so scary right like how is that is so unfair to the person that you're with because like you're making it their job to fix your trauma i don't think it's their job as much as it is um sort of the pain gets replaced with love okay you love the next person so much but i mean these things are like just waiting for a trigger dude like these are like things that get repressed niche niche and maybe you're lucky in your whole life you're never gonna get a trigger for that again but if you get triggered by that then like you're going to go into some kind of maybe see in the last two three years i have met some incredible women who i dated for a while we broke up for like random reasons some other


we broke up for like random reasons some other like we just again someone was going away from the country someone had some other issue so we had to break up for like these very miscellaneous reasons but some of them while i was dating him i could probably feel that healing also simultaneously happening with that relationship flourishing again just my perspective maybe that's just a difference in how like men and women kind of recuperate from breakups because women tend to like obsess over what has happened at every single detail of it and i think women what do you mean like in the sense of like we like to think about what were the intentions was there anything real at all like we go into like those kind of spirals cheating happens you're saying no like in general also now if like a breakup happens that way i'm saying that like women tend to like so women tend to heal kind of in the opposite direction of men where we cry it out first and then we go out


we cry it out first and then we go out into the world and men tend to like jump into other things and then eventually realize that oh i need to heal and then get to it you know like so like i feel like women tend to because we are more emotional we process our emotions like first and then we move on to like moving on personally it kind of bothers me how like fast men move on like it's just like square there's a quote which i believe in heavily which says that women take really long to get over a breakup but get over it yeah men take a very short time to get over a breakup but actually never get over it yeah but that's because they're not healing they've decided that they don't want to heal like somebody i think men are always in love with so even who's that second one we spoke about sanjana i don't know like i have no feelings wrong but there is a part of me that movie like you know i don't


part of me that movie like you know i don't look at it like in a better way so somewhere i mean that that effectively means that you still have a soft spot for sanjana somewhere so i don't think so i don't think that these are the same things like i don't think that like uh going like obi tikta is the same as like having a soft spot for someone since we've brought up sanjan i do want to bring up one more aspect of sanjana i'm sorry i'm cutting you sure no that's fine uh i remember being very depressed about sanjana in a train when i was in second year of college and i thought of jumping out of the train okay but i sat down i looked out of the train and i really just asked god or higher power or whatever to heal me and make me forget this breakup and i thought i'd never ever be able to forget it this was like a year after the whole sanjana situation that happened in college but eventually


situation that happened in college but eventually i got over it you know in life and that's my big hope for this bubbly breakup as well that while i'm thinking that oh i'll never be able to go somewhere something will happen no definitely because uh in the sanjana phase you are still at your heart of like your aashiq phases i feel like since i'm not anymore no i'm just saying that like you've thought our like sober down you know as time has gone on and i think that's really important you're not living in a bollywood movie i'm little like a part of me is like a little scared and lost my ability to love because of a combination of this and and business that's not true like that's not true i'm telling you as a you the person that's not true okay you just haven't found the right person right now like and it's not gonna be the same kind of love right like no two kinds no two loves are the same kind of love


no two loves are the same kind of love it's gonna be a different kind of love but i think it's something to kind of look [Music] no no i'm just saying that like i think that like there's a different kind of more adult mature love that is waiting for you where like you are actually equal partners with the person so i asked my mom this and i'll ask my choti mummy this now [Laughter] [Music] it's um english podcast it's an english podcast uh what do you think are the traits that i should look for in a girl uh i think we've had this conversation before also on the show not on the show let's have it on the show then because i just think that i've like you need someone who has enough stuff going on in her own life and that one is going to be a really hard one for you to do in fact that's probably going to be the most challenging one because you have so much happening and you're like growing your businesses


much happening and you're like growing your businesses and you're doing this podcast and you're running your channels and you're doing so much that it's gonna be hard to find someone who can kind of match i'm not saying that it has to be like someone who matches it for like you know video for video or something like that but it just um you need someone who is either super secure in themselves and what they're doing that they can like kind of um just like hold their own or you need someone who has as much going on in their life but you you need someone who can hold their own in front of you because like it's i think like now being the place you are in your life i think it's very easy for you to find people who will just agree with you or like who will just kind of like listen to you because you are saying it uh and that's fine too but i do feel that if you're looking for a partner like someone who's gonna make you better in your


like someone who's gonna make you better in your life you can't have someone who's gonna feel scared to tell you the truth like you need someone who's just going to be straight up with you and tell you that no bro that was like you need that like and but you have to be ready for that and you have to be you i'm ready no but like no my point is no like not just theoretically in fact uh your conditioning might make you realize a lot of different things about yourself when that situation actually does happen so it's important to like at that stage kind of remember that this is what you were kind of going for so i would say that guess where we'll have a second date i don't know at your house great like everyone else like a house we'll come for a house party then you can review whoever i'm dating yeah every time do you have any questions for me uh yeah can you tell me what are you looking for now like what are some specific things that you've


for now like what are some specific things that you've realized from your last relationships did not work and now you have like a tweaked plan ahead of you in terms of what i want in a girl the top of the charts is spirituality like some like because that's like my base second like and i can't even be a good person as a part of that okay the second thing i need is like um just can keep up with conversation okay because i've seen that like i've met some perfect girls who just couldn't intelligence is a given dude like if you're an intelligent person you can't date a dumb person i'm sorry like you just can't so sorry keeping up with conversation having their own opinions on like things and you're not just agreeing with like what i say uh third thing i mean guys are visual creatures it's just how men's brains are wired okay in saying that like okay so i feel every guy has a different reference when it comes to looks and visual like aspects of the girls


comes to looks and visual like aspects of the girls they choose to date and it's very subjective but it's different for every guy so i also have some particular i'm sure in all the girls i've dated you will just spotted some commonalities in the way they look yeah so you bro i have uh pointed out the commonalities in everyone what are the commonalities just the way that they look yeah like they some of them legit look the same like legit like some of them look like each other but i think like with all of them probably the fact that they are high maintenance while you're dating them meghna excluded from this like magna i don't count in any of this like she's not she's kind of anomalous compared to the rest of them but um yeah i would say they were probably all a little bit high maintenance like requiring too much of your energy is one and i would just say that like the next person that you find you need to find someone who like cares about your


you need to find someone who like cares about your emotions i know like i know that sometimes things tend to become like about how the woman is feeling but like i feel like men also have a lot of like emotional turmoil that they tend to suppress so i think you would need to find someone who's like you know who brings forces that out of you even when you don't want to because it is what will kind of help you move ahead um do you think i deal with emotional turmoil being my friend no really no i mean like i think it depends i think that you don't like confrontation like at all and you'll put like as many people as you can in between yourself and the person that you don't want to confront just so that you don't have to confront them emotionally yeah i mean like dude like i've seen where you've come know from like angry teenager at 14 just ready to like hit someone just like waiting waiting for his opportunity to like to slap the


waiting for his opportunity to like to slap the shirt out of someone to where you are now so clearly you have worked on yourself giving the same someone some reiki and healing have turned into this gentleman yeah exactly now you're that so like i don't know of course you've dealt with your emotional turmoil yeah but i don't know i think there's there's some more going on now like i'm really questioning the reality it sounds like a victim mentality kind of zone but i'm questioning the reality of being a content creator and especially a youtuber you know why is that a victim mentality zone just not how i think it's like no i mean introspection is not victimizing you because that that same domain has given me everything i have today you know what i mean and it's it's also my craft it's my skill maybe this is just my burn there's a burnout starting to happen somewhere in my head because i've been working continuously for like one two months so i'm reaching that


for like one two months so i'm reaching that state of needing a break and then i'll be back to thinking normally but lately i've been questioning in terms of how much longer can i keep creating videos and putting them out and waiting for things to do well and numbers to come up and my numbers are low changing up things and bringing it's deeply mathematical i'm just questioning that you can do this in a team team very easy even though i have a team somewhere uh a lot of the calls are individually mine and somewhere i have to appear on screen alone so a lot of things is person dependent i'm questioning that do i really wish to continue this person dependent journey that i'm on even though it's giving me a lot and that's probably the emotional turmoil of my late 20s it's just questions it's not something i'm sad about it's just i'm curious about how i'll switch into something else in my 30s yeah that that's not victimizing yourself like it's important to


that's not victimizing yourself like it's important to ask yourself these questions so that you can like figure out if this is how you want your life to continue and if it's not you can make the tweaks that's how your podcast started i don't want to bring my wife into this world that's something i know and into this rapidity you know okay like my life is too rapid right now no but i mean your life will presumably be rapid at later points also it's not like odds rapper like speed that's like death no for you yeah i i mean i kind of do want to slow things down and i'm i'm trying to at least align my business career such that i can take two years off in the middle and just gauge what i want from life again because since college got done i've not got a chance to stop and think maybe you will meet your ideal someone in those two years that you have off maybe but that was the valentine's day podcast because it got heavy we're gonna cut


day podcast because it got heavy we're gonna cut it here and underneath thank you you're welcome i'm gonna link your instagram down below did you have fun being on trs yes i had a lot of fun like watching your dirty linen in public that's the episode for today thank you for listening that was the no holds barred special i've just let nandani leave for her house which is done with the recording wonder what you guys thought of this i want to get a lot more female guests on the show they could be my own friends they could be stars from different industries so please give us your recommendations when it comes to female guests this is another episode of trs make sure you follow us on spotify every episode is available on spotify 48 hours before it's available anywhere else in the world big big big happy valentine's day big big big love to you guys and until next time from ranveer and the team we'll see you soon namaste lots of love [Music]


this one's an inspiring but at the same time super fun conversation because we got to host jemima rodricks she's the next big thing in women's cricket in india and women's cricket in general is the next big thing in the sports world of india they say that a women's ipl is around the corner and i strongly believe that jamia rodriguez is going to become the face of indian cricket in the near future this is a conversation with a champion and it's available for you only on this podcast make sure you follow trs on spotify with spotify exclusive now which means that every episode is available on spotify 48 hours before it's available anywhere else in the world i hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as i did this is jamima rodrigues on the ranvir show [Music] jimmy you are rodriguez welcome to the renview show hey thank you so much and firstly you are one of the very few guys who's actually got my name correctly give me the wrong projects yes


got my name correctly give me the wrong projects yes so well done on that i like the show guys it's a hit episode so many questions for you uh so we we prepare some kind of questions before all these conversations but now that you're here in this house i'm sensing your energy you're just a conversationalist i feel like i can talk to you about like anything how's life going life's good it's really good uh and recently i just got some time over here so i started playing hockey and if you can see this bruce that's like the nishani of me playing hockey so but it's been pretty chill you know i like cricket has been throughout the year but i love it when i just get some time go with the friends and just play hockey and i played a tournament at wellington gymkhana which went pretty well that's crazy dude you're playing cricket at an international level like you know you're kind of one of the faces of women's cricket in india but you're also


of women's cricket in india but you're also a hockey player you also play the guitar so what are all these abilities like as in how do you even figure that you can do so many different things honestly i didn't know it just happened with the flow so the funny story here is i got selected to play for hockey for maharashtra before i got selected to play cricket for the state so my parents are like okay jamie is going to play for india and hockey but i mean they were fired as long as they played for india they were like i'm fine mary betty india can't hate it's like that but so yeah so then at one point you know both started clashing and i had to make a choice and since i had reached a higher level in cricket than hockey went to hybrid are there other similarities in the sports like i read a lot a lot so like one thing about hockey is it's helped me a lot in my cricket when it comes to


me a lot in my cricket when it comes to fitness hockey you run a lot like continuous running so like back also gets very strong yeah your bag gets wrist work there's a lot of wrist work and if you see the hockey stick is this much cricket bat is this much small is the same size so it's like it helps me middle the ball tying the ball better like that hand-eye coordination and stuff like that crazy yeah um like now i'm gonna ask you the other end of the spectrum when you're facing like the most difficult bowler in the world um what's in your mind when you're out there it's an international match you know what's what's in your mind when you're facing like the most difficult bowler in the world or someone you feared maybe at some point growing up at the end i just tell myself baldi komaru but that's that's the only thing you do as a batter but i think what what gives me a lot of confidence if i'm like


gives me a lot of confidence if i'm like facing such a good bowler is that my preparation i think whichever field whichever industry or in if you have prepared well i think it gives you a lot more confidence going out than just backing yourself then you know okay i've done this ten thousand times in the nets so this is like just one other ball so i mean that gives you a lot of confidence and helps you just go out there and just you know play your game what do people not know about cricket professionals you know like because there's so much the media says about qriket professionals but i feel there's one whole other secret world which only cricket professionals know about each other you know so i want to ask you i'm not asking you any locker room secrets or anything like that i'm saying mindset twice what is common between all cricket professionals i'm talking about both men women everyone one thing people don't know is that they feel these cricketers are very busy on


that they feel these cricketers are very busy on tour but we are not you know so we just have three hours of practice the next whole day we are free maybe one hour of gym somewhere in between so one of the people who they're so busy they're on tour but i find two my two life is very chill in the sense i practice and when i practice it's 100 over there then one hour of gym but the rest day we go we chill we go out for a walk now because of quarantine it's kind of difficult you know that bubble life but yeah i think that is one thing and i think what people fail to understand is that you know cricketers have a life apart from cricket so you know many a time you kind of judge them based on you know how they do in the field today or how you perform but i think for me i just wanted people to see me at the end of the day as just a gemmy you know that's the best thing i love when


you know that's the best thing i love when i go home like people don't see me my parents don't see me oh jamie my rodericks the indian player has come they just see that oh my baby has come back home from a day and they love you whether you score today we don't score they love you the same and i think this is one thing everyone needs to understand at the end of the day they're just human beings trying their best and on machines that every day they'll go out there and deliver like 100 you know they are allowed to make mistakes and they do and when they do i think you should just give them some space and just let them you know just give them some time to get out of it um have you have you felt low in during your career say i mean like uh when when maybe you're not going through the best patch have you kind of let your mental health get affected because of whatever's happening in your professional life a lot of times a lot it's


your professional life a lot of times a lot it's it's like see i'm just 21 year old and i'm still trying to get that balance how not to let my profession life uh you know i mean just be neutral in the highs and in the lows and uh what happens is like now a lot of things is on social media a lot of uh you know criticism everyone's uh you know has has the opportunity to kind of give their own opinions and sometimes it gets tough it gets tough you know when you know you're going out there trying to give your best but sometimes it happens that you you have a bad day you have an off day maybe you drop a catch or something like that so you're already going through so many things and then suddenly you just hear someone speak or by mistake you're on on your phone and just this notification comes with someone has commented something you know it kind of affects your mental headspace and uh for me what i do is that you know i just


me what i do is that you know i just try to stay away from social media when i'm on tour because i just find that i'm in a better headspace when i'm away from that and just helps me see at the end it's like someone who's sitting 10 000 miles away just commenting he doesn't know the pain you've gone through he doesn't know the sacrifices he's not sweated it out at the nets or at the gym you have and he's not been there the nights where you have cried so i mean people are i'm not saying their opinions are wrong they have all the right to give their opinions but just that he has not been in my shoes or she's not been in my shoes for me to accept what they have said or find that you know listen to their opinions i think at the end the people who are the most closest to me like my mom my dad or the close friend circle i have they say okay jamie this is wrong and maybe i'll


say okay jamie this is wrong and maybe i'll take it seriously but again it's much more easier said than done i'm still learning to get that balance because i really get very affected by what people say so best of like i avoid it completely you don't talk like a 21 year old dad i'll tell you for sure i feel you're like a lot um you know i i really like that you address this whole mental health thing i think the one advantage that women generally have over men is that they understand their own emotions better yes and we let it out also a lot you just take a phone call my friend you know this does has happened today and i think with guys it's they're not that they'll just keep it to themselves and suppress it i saw this one conversation you had with i think ashwin and uh you spoke about how you were the only girl in an academy full of guys yeah and none of the guys even came up and spoke to you because uh if


even came up and spoke to you because uh if the any one of them came up the others would make fun of them they would start teasing me with them yeah but but do you do you remember the first time you held a bat like when did you know that you could like actually become an international level batsman oh so so so i started playing cricket because of my two brothers enoch and ellie so they used to play at home and i was this person i am this person who cannot sit quietly i have to be up to some mischief or something or the other so looking at them i picked up a bat then i started also going and playing with my brothers with their school school team which is a boy's team so i started playing with the boys because at that time vito didn't know women's cricket existed i was just playing for the sake of it because there was no media nothing no televised games of women women's matches so i was just playing because i love playing it so


i was just playing because i love playing it so there was this time like to make a long story short when i was 12 when i played my first uh state game for mumbai that's when i was like okay dude i think cricket's something for me and i just don't want to survive here i want to be the best and for me it's always been that like even till today i always want to keep getting better and just want to be the best wherever i'm at you know it's a it sounds like a stupid question what i'm about to ask you but it's a very genuine question um so everyone's very familiar with men's ranji trophy and you know how this election process is like to get into the indian cricket team but what is the deal with women's cricket in india like what's the system how do you actually make it to the playing eleven uh to the playing eleven for india for india so i'll start with mumbai how you make it to the mumbai team


mumbai how you make it to the mumbai team so we have the zone games where uh there's a shivaji park zone there's a thane zone on this one and they have matches so they play matches then comes the mca games mca selections where whoever does well they pick them up from there they make like four five teams and we play against each other and from there they pick up the mumbai probables that's about 30 people in under 19 30 in senior senior women so we don't have an under 16 team like tournament or anything like that i mean i think they have it but the tournaments are not on and then from there like practices will be the matches will be played and from there they select the 15 for mumbai and from 15 playing eleven so that is him domestic domestic two international so from huh then in then to get to international so it's like then you have we used to have these zones into zones west zone south zone used to play but now it's mainly how well you do


play but now it's mainly how well you do in this in the state games from there they pick up uh three teams india a india b india c for challengers and then from that if you do well there like you're through to the india team we had a monk on the show two days back okay okay and the conversation went very deep and i know that you're a practicing catholic and i have to ask you this because i asked dwayne bravo this as well okay and i'll tell you his answer after you are okay but i asked him that you know these abilities that he had uh which everyone knows dane brower's abilities does he think that it's some external externally given strength given to him like have you heard i'm sure you know the verse philippians 4 13 yeah so i have to do all these things yeah yeah 4 13 uh why don't you say the verse first i can do all three things through christ who strengthens me yeah so uh it effectively means that any


me yeah so uh it effectively means that any ability is always god given like anything you you do have you ever like thought about this thought when playing because you're really young to have seen international cricket at this level so there has to be some level of god-gifted abilities in you i want to ask you about that whole vibe okay so so yeah i am i'm a spiritual person and i do believe that you know if i look at myself in and of myself i know i'm not good enough i i mean i'm like i i do think i'm like dude how did i get here after all this but i know it's not me i mean how do i explain it so so i've been a very fearful and anxious person growing up and uh i remember that uh i couldn't even sit in a classroom full of like 30 people and that also happened like it aggravated because uh my my cousin's sister was very close to like we used to like best friends she passed away


like we used to like best friends she passed away like right in front of my eyes in a swimming pool like i was i was in the baby pool and she i don't know why but something happened she went in the deep side and she drowned over there so after that i got very insecure and how old were you i was maybe six seven six seven years old and i'd gotten very firstly i never liked going to school but i was fine but then after that i couldn't sit in a classroom like full of how many 25 30 people i needed my mom to be there and and my my parents used to think they used to worry i'm like they're like i don't know what's going to happen of this girl she cannot even talk in front of people she cannot even be in a classroom full of people how is she going to what is she going to do in life it is like that but uh i mean this is my favorite verse and it's also on my instagram bio i think like


and it's also on my instagram bio i think like how you have philippians 4 39 mine is uh okay i don't know the words but uh it says like perfect love casts out all fear so i have been a very anxious person but the more i realize jesus's love and uh what he's done for me the more it's helped me i don't know how to explain it but it's just a conviction that the most helped me rise above my fears and today if you go to see like like it's the same thing like my father in heaven doesn't judge me based on how i do today or judge me okay if i do well if i do well today he loves me a lot if i fail he'll like get lost or he'll kick me it's not that his love for me is constant and his love for me is the same and i think that is one thing that gives me stability in this life that you know in the ups and downs one thing is for sure and one thing


and downs one thing is for sure and one thing never changes is god's love for me and that's unconditional and the more i realize that the more it helps me rise above my fears because this verse says perfect love only god's love is perfect jesus love is perfect he died on the cross for me so that love casts out every fear and today it's just a miracle i think of you know i say my life is kind of a testimony of what god can do with the most broken people and make it into something beautiful because today i'm going playing stadiums filled with 84 000 people for a girl who couldn't sit in a classroom full of 10 people now going there at this international stage in front of cameras i think it's just a miracle and i i can't explain it i can't say it but i would just tell like who was watching to you know maybe if you feel god's not real ask him to be real he will reveal himself to you yeah miracles happen to those


reveal himself to you yeah miracles happen to those who seek so that's what i strongly believe in um everything you've said i've felt it through your words of course but i've also felt it in my own experiences in life and at this stage of life my subject has become neuroscience okay okay every time i hear something spiritual i try tying it into some neuroscience which is the study of the brain it's like biology but inside the brain all bouncer cameras it's okay so basically it says that the the basic logic of neuroscience is anything you do in life any of your motivation now that motivation could be i want to kill it in my career the motivation could be i want to get married you only do out of two underlying feelings okay fear or love and there's like deep neuroscience behind this there's something called evolutionary psychology matlab all the thoughts in your mind and my mind and our minds happen because of our ancestors past as cavemen okay and cave


our ancestors past as cavemen okay and cave women and how they spend their life for like lacks of yours determines how we think in the modern day and it's it's the reason why our brains work in a certain way it's the reason why we like certain foods it's the reason why we are attracted to a certain kind of person etc etc but anything we do we do a lot of fear or love and early in my life i used to do a lot of things out of anger i'll show everyone i'll show like this person but actually it wasn't anger it was fear of what uh people insulted me with you know okay if they told me i'm not capable of something i want to prove them wrong so i thought it was anger but actually fear of what if what they said actually comes true uh and i spoke to a therapist about this because it was becoming bad for me i had a bad breakup and then started using that as the angle you know i'll


then started using that as the angle you know i'll show her this that and the therapist told me that listen every time you're feeling this motivating yourself through anger understand you're actually motivating yourself through fear and then switch it into motivating yourself through love okay like whatever the source of love is in your life your mother god your parents your family do it for them or do it for the love of the talent that god has given you but it was like a very nice switch and and even the verse you said kind of reminded me of this so that's why the neuroscience lecture but uh i have to ask you i mean like you you spoke about your ability and you said that sometimes you know you don't know how you you're able to do it but when we're watching you on tv it doesn't seem like that um what is actually going on in your head when you're you know having a really good innings when you're playing a really good innings and you're hitting fours and


really good innings and you're hitting fours and sixes what's in your head then are you in a state of flow like are you familiar with this whole state of flow concept i get in that zone zone zone yeah yeah so the only place i know how to explain zones and flows are sports and creative professions you're writing or editing but uh sports is where you really see people in their zone so what is that like because there's a movie called soul pixar yeah yeah i've seen it i love animated movies same yeah uh and uh it speaks a lot about another zone yeah and about zone and how it's uh one of the most spiritual places someone can be in the head so i want to know about your state of flow or zone so so for me i mean this is kind of funny i talk i love talking a lot but when i'm playing a game i am ign like silent because i feel that i am able to deliver the best when i am just quiet and to myself like that just


i am just quiet and to myself like that just helps me keep calm so i don't talk i don't talk a lot even like my partner is like smithy or someone but come on hey jimmy talk i'm like no i'm not going to talk this is my soul it's like that but i think the zone what you said is something like uh see when you're in just in that flow it i mean i don't know how to explain how you get into zone because everyone has different ways of getting into this zone so i think you just need to find out what's yours and what works for you for me it's like being silent staying in the game staying in that moment and then switching off switching on that's there but uh what do you mean switching off switching so like you have a specific span for concentration it's like you cannot concentrate every time the entire time so you need to use that wisely so just before the ball is bold that's when i'm like full focus over


is bold that's when i'm like full focus over there after the like the time the bowler goes to the run up that's when i switch off i might sing a song or i just might look around or something like just to distract my mind and for cricket i think the best headspace you can be in when you're blank over here so they said ask sachin sachin tendulkar and he told me this that you know what happens is when you kind of pre-meditate what the bowler is going to put okay it's going to pull this ball then your body kind of gets stiff and starts reacting that way but he told me i react the best is when i'm i'm blank over here and i just react because i've practiced that so much it's just cricket batting is all about reacting to the bowler's ball where they bull so so yeah so i mean he said that so he he told me this one thing that you know what i used to do is i should


you know what i used to do is i should think like okay today which boxing match is going to be there or i should sing a song or something like that so you find that so for me i love music i play the guitar too so sometimes i just start humming a tune or something like that so that helps me stay blank and also helps me be in my own space in my own zone and when you're in the zone like the body just takes over you don't have to literally think okay i'm going to play a cover drive today i'm in memory just muscle memory it just comes naturally and i'm able to be my best when i'm in that zone so i think it's just important for everyone it's different for everyone some people love talking so it's like completely opposite but i think yeah that that's the kind of zone what else did sargentine ruka tell you so i asked him this one question that uh because i was facing it a lot at that time like wherever he


it a lot at that time like wherever he goes and he also had a uh like a very his start of the career was very young like he was very young when he entered into international cricket so how did he deal with the with the lamb light because a lot of people wherever he goes this camera is a people questioning all this that and even if you're practicing everyone's always constantly watching you you have to be perfect you have to be this i'm like you know i kind of struggle with that so how how do you deal it doesn't seem like that just by the way like a very confident especially on screen i think i'm just faking it maybe but but then but he told me one thing that i think i i really resonate like i i could relate to he said you know just imagine this all these people so he said he told us in the dressing room of one of the world cups to the boys that just imagine this entire people out here they're


that just imagine this entire people out here they're not here like sitting on your head saying oh come on you have to do we have to score but just imagine that same energy sorry that same energy right behind you and backing you and supporting you to go out there they're on your side and they're cheering you imagine when you walk out on that field with thinking 1.2 billion people in india you know behind me and backing me what kind of confidence you will step out on the field too so he's like you know it's just what what message you send to your brains you can either send it the negative one oh no these people are watching me what i'm good or you can say no these people actually backing me and supporting me to go out and do better and then it's just how you fool your brain or what not food also just what message you say in your brain and then you will start reacting like in a negative way or in a positive way have you read


negative way or in a positive way have you read saurabh ganguly's autobiography by any chance no but i i mean i don't like reading books i'll tell you what the book is about it's like i'll give you the thing so it was one of the most impactful books for me okay honestly because i felt like i was a very angry person earlier on my career and so was he like he was a very angry person and there's a lot of anger in the book and there are few lessons uh one of the lessons is visualization yeah uh he spoke more about how that was a big change in his batting like there was some west indies cricketers some old batman who were told i can't remember who right now it wasn't viv richards uh some because but it was some batsman who i can't remember who who had told him that uh the night before a match just visualized a lot and exactly that will happen the stronger visualization becomes the more likely exactly that will


stronger visualization becomes the more likely exactly that will happen in the match so he said that that was his big game changer the obvious next one is like consistent hard work like that hard work never stops that's why so i think the title of the book is a century is not enough but after scoring so many centuries i still got dropped then came back then got dropped again then even his retirement happened like that like he kept working hard but randomly got dropped and had to retire so his whole book is that no matter what happens you'll have to keep working hard um and the third thing is i mean i personally over time i've started to disagree with that lesson because of what i just told you about neurosciences but he's definitely taken a negative emotion like anger or whatever it is and turned it into motivation to like kill it there was one more lesson about how so when he had come into the indian cricket team a lot of the senior players would treat the


a lot of the senior players would treat the junior players a little bit not with so much respect and he said that when i become captain i'll treat all my juniors like with respect uh and uh we see that a lot in media industry uh you know they like when you when you try entering rooms there isn't space for you in that room so that was something i experienced as well at that stage okay and there's this quote i read once that uh never beg for a seat when you can build your own table so it's kind of what sauro ganguly uh stood for uh why are you are you still nervous now no i'm not done the first memory of women's cricket i have personally is watching mithali raj on tv yeah and uh i've seen women's cricket like really grow um but what is it like actually playing with mithai raj like why is there this one person called mithali raj who's stood the test of time become the face of women's cricket uh and you


become the face of women's cricket uh and you know she was like the mainstream person even when women's cricket wasn't mainstream so i really would like to know about her considering that you've like spent time in the dressing room with her you've played with her what is special about her yeah i would say actually two people mitali raj and julen goswami so these both i think both of them have been the face of women's cricket even until now you ask anyone on the road they're like like okay sorry mom i'm so shocked but even growing up you know i like i said like i didn't know women's cricket existed the only two names i had heard was mithali raj julan ghosa i mean never seen their faces didn't know what i knew there one was a batter one was a peso but i didn't know what they do how how they go about and i remember my fir one of the first time i'm going to see mitali raj i'm talking about right now is


see mitali raj i'm talking about right now is the senior zonals we are playing i was playing for weston and mithudi was playing for uh central zoo so uh that that was the last game of the tournament or something and so she was come up i'm going to come to bed at number three i was like okay finally i'm going to see mata raj i've heard so much about her wicked fell someone else came back so testimony we could so that is but then i saw her coming on out on field and just by her name you know the entire like the team was like oh mr d is coming up it's like that you know that is the kind of thing you don't ever have to say anything just a presence was like oh like you know she's a big thing you know she's done a lot so i think yeah that is the one thing but the thing i like about both of them is like you know they are legends they have scored a lot of friends taking a lot of


have scored a lot of friends taking a lot of wickets but even if you see them today in the nets they have the same dedication as you know when i think they would have just started playing cricket the same kind of dedication and they're saying i'm like why do they have to work so hard i mean there are these legends they had the standard they don't have to i mean they can easily give an excuse or just skip practice session or something like that but the they are they have never skipped practice i've never seen them come late also so i think for me what stands out about both of them is like even after all this like they did it without the fame without the recognition now it's getting all the recognition getting everything but still they've not stopped working hard they've not stopped you know sweating it out in the gym they've not stopped giving that dedication every time they're on the field and i think it's more than the words they say i think just as a youngster


the words they say i think just as a youngster i'm so privileged that i get to watch it and i think that speaks more than what you go and say that you just watch these two people and then and then this is like for me it's like okay they're setting a standard that you know i have to live up to this i have to do this because for them i think you know it's more than just winning world cups i think it's now they're trying to set a legacy in women's cricket they're trying to pass it on like now they're going to pass it on to us and now it's our responsibility to play for those who did it without the fame without the recognition and also for those who are going to come after us so i'd actually written one caption on instagram where you know we had uh we had a small meeting where the coach ramiso had you know showed us the history of women's cricket and why we are enjoying what we are enjoying today so they


enjoying what we are enjoying today so they spoke about all the great players who did it without the recognition without the fame but they did it so that today we are enjoying their fruits and also he ended the meeting by saying you know we're going to leave the jersey so they gave us our test jerseys with our names they gave it to us mithuti and juludi they gave us our jersey and they said we are going to leave this jersey in a better place so i think for us now as the indian women's cricket team our responsibility is much more than winning games for india it's that every time we're out there we are going to play to inspire even if one girl gets inspired seeing us and they go to their parents say okay daddy i want to go and play cricket i think that's a victory for india um it's crazy um you know and being cricket fans we again we've seen that whole rise uh i gotta ask you the elephant


whole rise uh i gotta ask you the elephant in the room kind of question uh i mean i know i know you've been asked this a lot but when do you think we're going to get to see a women's ipl hopefully very soon i think i read an article where sort of gangly said 2023 definitely it's gonna happen so i am really hoping because it makes a lot of difference you know i think one thing that uh the indian team personally according to me that we lack is you know just playing in that pressure moments uh where you know we get more exposure like more repetition like everything is about repetition like even if i have to perfect a cover drive the more i keep drilling it or practicing it the more better i'm going to be so the same thing the more i'm put under this pressure situations the more i'll be able to deliver better the next time i'm in such a situation and for me the best way to do that is just having these women's


best way to do that is just having these women's ipr games because you know it's going to be crazy standard like domestic and international i would say at the moment there's still a huge difference but i think the only way to bridge that gap and to get good games is the women's ip and imagine you're going to get to share the dressing room with the greatest women cricketers how much like i have seen mithui in judy and i have gotten so inspired like that so many others maybe susie bates or you know meg lanning all these people you you'll see their work ethics you'll see how they work how what kind of preparation they have towards the game and that itself you know teaches you so much and just being around that thing you know they say it rubs off on you when you're around such people so i think that's going to do because playing the 100 and the wbbl actually have understood that that you know the standard of fitness and the way they go about with


standard of fitness and the way they go about with their cricket their sport and all it changes everything changed my own whole mentality of what i had so i think i think that the women's ipr is the best thing for us what's the one difference in women's cricket as compared to like men's cricket according to you one difference yeah like you know one but that only probably women's cricketers know one difference i think men get a lot of games compared to the women you see it be it about the the ranji trophy or the domestic structure even the ipl and even the club games that they play you know like they have before imagine this surah maryada when all these people they have played so much cricket before making that debut imagine their confidence walking in playing for india it's like i've done this so many times before in the ipl and things like that i think one thing that's lacking for us is that that we don't have that much experience because we're not playing such competitive cricket at


experience because we're not playing such competitive cricket at a regular basis so i think and most of them now in the indian team if you see they've all come from the ipl where it went when the men's ips started where it was it wasn't that great standard but you see today it's like so competitive and so many players we didn't even realize were there existing in this country but they have found like bumrah he didn't even play first class cricket he directly went and made his debut for india through the ipl otherwise he would have never been nobody would have even looked at him so i think i think that is the one difference i would say like in men's and women's career and you know i mean even seeing the ipl grow over the years we have seen standards rise in the country i feel it was always competitive to make it to the playing eleven for india but it's gotten like 100x more competitive which probably means that there's been an elevation of standards and what i anticipate


an elevation of standards and what i anticipate is if and when there is a women's ipl which i think it will be the next one or two years itself um we are going to see that same surge in like women's cricket popularity and all when i really knew um you know like i think three four years back when the final was on of the world cup uh my entire gym which was full of men stopped gyming and everyone was watching the maps in the gym and that's when i realized women's cricket is here yeah so this is the next obvious step you know like and and all the men all the women in india i anticipate that they'll back women's cricket a lot right it just needs to be packaged right yeah all right it was packaged right yeah a lot of a lot of people i mean nothing but a lot of people coming to men's game so i'm not saying comparing anything but i'm just saying that is that the fans want it the people


saying that is that the fans want it the people wanted they are they are interested because they've seen it on tv and they're like okay dude they're just not girls out there playing but they are doing it at such a good level and so professionally that they enjoy watching it so for them it's not like a guy is playing on a girl is playing they enjoy it same as they're watching a men's game so i think yeah at height i am now we have the ipl man yeah yeah for sure um okay i've got to ask you something which you're not asked in other podcasts or anything you're scared no what do you think the question will be which iplt no no no no no i've been asked that a lot it's nothing related to cricket hmm no i don't know i want to just i'm curious about the love life of like women's cricketers okay like what what's up with their relationships does it become difficult because you're a sports people and you'll have routines


because you're a sports people and you'll have routines like i want to know about like the whole relationship side of women's cricket in general oh relationship side so firstly i've been single for 21 years of my life so this is the wrong person you're asking this question i'm not going to take it like seriously uh do you do you wish to date anyone i wish but you know what has happened is that firstly i used to i told you like when i used to practice with the boys no boys to come and talk to me because everyone used to be scared of you know kind of uh getting teased yeah getting teased with me so and then i growing up also coaches and all the like you know you know if you get into this relationship you'll get distracted from cricket this and that so i was very this thing that i wanted to play for india so me no no no i want to play for india i want to so for me to like that but sometimes i do regret


for me to like that but sometimes i do regret it because like somewhere i feel like i never had a call i never had a school life for a college life like just six standard i went to school after that it was just going and giving the exams and cricket so for me like i kind of missed out on that but yeah sometimes i do regret it like what if i had like a friend a proper friend circle apart from cricket or something like that so yeah so it's been kind of that but honestly i'd also say that i'm glad i took that decision because maybe you never know some like i could have got distracted i don't know how to so so yeah so that but uh yeah talk about women's cricket and i think everyone's professional enough right now like i think the thought is gone that no just cricket your entire life i think yes cricket is something you do but it's not your life you have a life apart from cricket and i think most of us are


from cricket and i think most of us are you know kind of enjoy understanding that right now and they're like at that level where they can balance both uh professional life and personal life and also at that stage where you know sometimes just having a partner having someone is so so important because you know just takes your mind off cricket just to have a bad day or something like you just go call your partner and they're like okay i have not done this but i've seen my friends do it that you know you just go call them and just talk about random like not necessarily about cricket or so it's random but just makes you feel so much better and so much sick so i think yeah every once everyone's kind of professional enough like that and they know what they're doing and some people like to come out in the open whether some people don't so yeah how do they find the boyfriends it's just a genuine question honestly because i'll take from what perspective i'm coming uh you guys are celebrities


perspective i'm coming uh you guys are celebrities now and uh generally for celebrities especially women uh it's it's often difficult for guys to come up and approach uh women like and then i'm speaking on behalf of boys yeah yeah but also on behalf of all the women celebrities we've had on the show they've all said that their dating life is a little difficult yeah that's why i'm asking you this question yeah i mean it's tough it's very tough because see if i would put it from my perspective if i'm looking for a guy i'm like i want someone who'd love me for me and not for the tag i have as the indian cricketer and that is difficult yeah that is very difficult so i mean i'm not the right person to answer because i'm not yet found that person but i think what i've asked my friends and what i've understood from them is that they say you you just know it when you're in love you just know it like be it


you're in love you just know it like be it a girl or be a guy so you you you just know that person is right like whatever everything just falls into place and i mean it's how did some of them meet their boyfriends so some of some of them met them through instagram some of them had a college life where you know they were friends from a long time and then that's how they started dating so it's like kind of different for everyone okay have you ever met bernard kohli in person i did i did okay and did you i'm assuming you asked him a lot of questions about cricket about cricket 100 so uh smithy and i had the opportunity to talk to me and asked him we want to speak to you sir about batting no certainly without me about batting can we meet so we won the same hotel in new zealand so he's like yeah sure come so he called us at the cafe sharma is also there so they both were there and we spoke half an


so they both were there and we spoke half an hour about batting and we ended up talking so the we asked him just for a few minutes we ended up speaking for like four hours over there and half an hour about cricket and after that was just normal things like just normal like how you know like friends meet and they talk now after ages it was fully like that so he was telling us about uh like how you know we also pray for anushka and i create for a normal life something you know sometimes you just go for a walk and just see the moon just sit under the tree that's it it means everyone think that we are the stars but we enjoy the simple things a lot more than all these fancy and all these things so a lot of things are spoken he helped us about we spoke a lot about batting too so yeah i i think i'm privileged like that i get to meet such people and at the right time i've met them and they've actually inspired me and


i've met them and they've actually inspired me and helped me at that phase i was in what was the piece of advice that stayed with you so again i asked him the same question about no yeah not lam night how do you expect how do you handle expectations because now i i told him like you are virat kohli your score of 50 is like you've underperformed for people so how do you like handle that that expectation that thing he says you know for me every time i'm out there on the field i just look at the scoreboard and just focus on that now you just focus on that and not about the crowd or anything i just zero in my focus and what i can do to help india win so i think he he said what he meant to say was like if i stop giving these expectations all that much importance and focus just look at what i need to do the process the results will automatically follow and one thing he told us is that you know you guys


he told us is that you know you guys have smithy and i he told you guys have the power to you know set a train for women's cricket in the right way whether you all agree with it bringing you going uh like whether it's uh whether it's your your fitness or or your cricket so you said that you have a greater responsibility than what you guys think you all have so make sure you know you take this responsibility seriously and set it right for us and it doesn't seem like that's making you all nervous sir like you're you'll no in fact yeah we got more motivated after you said that literally we got very motivated to you know go out there and work harder and focus on our fitness and our diet and everything with that so yeah i think around the time you will be retiring which is way later things are going to be like insanely different and you're going to look back at this face thinking that oh yeah those are the normal days but this is


oh yeah those are the normal days but this is what i spoke to ranveer on the show you're manifesting manifesting that visualization what is energy in person like you know how like if you have to describe my anger you say oh i still whatever can talk friendly so what would be without kohli's energy i think he is someone you know you see him on the field he's very aggressive very this but when you see him as a normal person he's just like one of us you know he'll he'll have fun and but whenever he speaks you can see the passion in his eyes for the game that passion he has for the game and i think that's what drives him each and ever he's always hungry like to do better to get to score more runs or things like that so i think that's one thing about his wife that you get and he doesn't have to speak about cricket but you know when he's just talking suddenly cricket comes out you can just see that drive he has a


out you can just see that drive he has a passion he has to even to share with us some stuff so i think yeah that that would be him he's very chill like that but he's very passionate about his game would you like me to tell you about you in terms of what is in your eyes definitely because obviously you know maybe i'll say something bad say that on the show um i i i definitely see the same passion in your eyes uh i i have not seen virat kohli in person but all of us feel the same way when we see him on tv that there's a lot of passion even in his body language but with you because you're in front of me um like i i see like heaps of professionalism like in you like every time i'm switching into cricket your whole dynamic is changing energy wise like almost like that's your god you know and that's a great you know vibe to have that's that's why you've come this far it's why god gives you the


come this far it's why god gives you the gift of flow so am i right insane there is a very strong sense of seriousness which is great yeah yeah yeah thank you so much thank you thank you thank you thank you i mean i don't know how to react to such compliments i'm like just being good you're on camera just say thank you you're you're welcome welcome jeremy so with this podcast the criticism i've got is we've not brought on as many female guests as we brought on male guess okay so i'm trying to balance that out um but like i want to i want it it's a thought and feel free not to answer it whatever um have you have like while growing up and while kind of chasing that goal of becoming a professional cricket player uh have you felt like that your gender kind of held you back in any form like were there people who doubted you were the people who like questioned you and did that make you question yourself also if i'd be real


make you question yourself also if i'd be real honest there were people like now things have changed people's mind is opened up and all that but when i started playing cricket i'm talking like this whole auntie now way back in the 80s when i started playing i was born in 2000 so like but when i started playing so women's cricket was not that like i really didn't know imagine i'm playing the sport and i didn't know women's cricket existed and literally people have come to my parents relatives and all that and they come like have you lost it why are you making your daughter play cricket don't you know like cricket is a kind of they didn't say it in that sense but they actually wanted to say that cricket is a male dominated sport but i think this has never affected me i'll tell you why because i think my parents never made me feel that way about taking up the sport and i think they have a huge role in that like my dad's my coach and my


role in that like my dad's my coach and my mom also gives me coaching advice no but but both of them have been very supportive then for them it was like you know if my daughter has the talent and she wants to play why should i see her gender like why should i say okay you're a girl you can't play you know she's good at it she wants to play a lot of play so they never made me feel like cricket is a male dominated sport even though my brothers used to play they always supported me the same way so actually my dad wanted to play cricket but his parents never allowed him because at that time it was like you know you get a job you settled in life and they were right in in their they just wanted the best for his son but my dad never stopped us from playing so i think there were these times where you know people came up and could but i think never affected me because my mom and dad handled it very well and they never made


and dad handled it very well and they never made me feel like you know because you're a girl you can't do this um we had kiran beri on the show um and the legend of like uh just the indian story since independence and the one outcome i had from that podcast was she said that the one thing her parents did right was support her especially when you know at that time yeah so she was india's first female ips officer yeah at that time it was like an insane correct vibe so um that's one thing i've understood about all the successful professional women i've met you kiran ma'am everyone says the same things that my parents were like which makes me think that you know they say only five to ten percent of all indian women are part of the workforce here okay so i question that why is it why what are the 90 women doing and partly i mean there's many reasons but a lot of it is the mindset you're given when you're a child correct you know that listen


given when you're a child correct you know that listen you'll be able to do it versus no no you can't do it right what if your parents had listened to your massimo and all that said that exactly i wouldn't be here today yeah i mean i don't even know why i'm mentioning this hopefully there's some young probably guy listening to this podcast who raises his daughter correct you know in the right way but even today you know when now i go to the same ground i used to be the only girl where 400 500 boys used to play now there's a specific net solely for girls and when these girls or these parents come up to me and say you know uh jimmy i want my daughter to become like you oh i want my son also to become like you and just tell me how to go about and go forth and they're supporting that kid i feel so happy inside and i mean that's yes playing for india is like one of the best feelings but i think maybe after


one of the best feelings but i think maybe after that is like someone coming to you and telling you know looking at you i want to send my daughter to break cricket or place food so i think yeah that's the most satisfying feeling do periods affect your game it it does so for me i'm kind of blessed like normally when when girls get periods so it's very tough because you get a very bad stomach pain or a back pain so like i am blessed so my pain is different for different people for different people it also comes from your jeans and stuff like that so my mom has said that you know she has been praying for me right from the start that i don't get that pain my mom used to get very bad pain so she's always prayed and i think somewhere god has answered that prayer but uh i've seen people in my team it's it's bad it's very bad you know they sometimes they can't even walk they can't even what does it feel like


even walk they can't even what does it feel like so you just lose a lot of energy like you sometimes you just get sometimes you get bad mood swings sometimes you feel very blah like you don't feel like doing anything that day and sometimes the pain so bad that you can't even like get out of your bed so at these times it's like it's very tough and also it's also this thing of imagine you're playing and then suddenly your clothes get stained that that thought is always there see i'm being very frank that thought is always there and people are going to you know kind of make fun of you or something that so we are always very oh i think i should go and go and change my pad or something like that have there been instances where someone has said i can't play today because of my periods so 95 of the times it's not happened so we either take a medicine or a painkiller something and we just go out there because at the end you're playing for india you


because at the end you're playing for india you can't like kind of give and honestly seeing nobody will understand what a girl what a girl faces or something like that but if it's too bad too terrible then yeah maybe wow man this is one of those things that a guy will never understand about just the the vibe of being a woman in life yes how was this podcast for you i think it was amazing it i see this is the first time i'm meeting you i've seen you on youtube a lot but first time meeting you but i felt like you know yeah good buddies chilling in mumbai somewhere so it really felt good and i think it has a lot to do with you because you made me feel very comfortable and you didn't make this conversation feel like an interview i just felt like two people are just talking and you know having a conversation and uh in the lockdown i also tried kind of hosting shows like like this and i'm telling you dude it's so


this and i'm telling you dude it's so tough to come up with the questions to kind of break the ice to make the person feel and the the worst thing is you many a time you're meeting the person for the first time it's not that you've met them a lot so it's very tough so i really after that i it really changed my perspective to you know anchors hosts and you know people taking interviews so i mean well done on that and thank you for making me feel so comfortable i'm getting emotional [Laughter] but yeah dude like you were really nervous he walked i did i was calm down because i went to youtube and you're hosting all these celebs okay why is jeremiah rodriguez because because dude like uh i i don't i don't tell i'm not gonna chat how you go i'm gonna tell you but one thing i will say is i reiterate the fact that i see very few professionals across professions who respect the profession as much as you


professions who respect the profession as much as you and that's what i've gained even from this and that might be the um gift of having mithali raj in the same dressing room and julian goswami in the same dressing room but i'm definitely sure that you're going to carry it forward and uh you know you're one of the few cricket players i've met in a person but you can tell who is sort of captaincy material versus who isn't are you in a good zone otherwise with where everything is going yeah yeah now i'm much better i wasn't but yeah now much much better headspace what switched it other than this podcast it switched before the podcast yesterday wouldn't be here today no i think i think for me it was just it was just giving myself that time and letting myself feel the emotion so okay for those who don't know what we're talking about i just been dropped from the world cup squad and actually i i didn't want to speak about it


actually i i didn't want to speak about it but i think i just feel in the flow and i can talk about it but uh it was a very tough time for me and uh i was very frustrated very emotional and and i think what gave me not in a good head space i would say i was going for practice also but i was very frustrated so i think i just took a break for like a week or something just spend time in the family so i called my cousins home just chill just relaxed took some time out for myself and then after that sorted out okay i have this much time in my hand and how i'm going to go about and go forth with that so i think it was just giving myself time and just letting myself feel those emotions you know sometimes we try to suppress those how can you feel that you can't feel that you can't feel frustrated today or you can't feel depressed today i think somewhere you're human you should just let


i think somewhere you're human you should just let yourself feel that and the moment you start accepting that and feeling that i think that's where the hearing starts and also i had a real heart-to-heart conversation with my mom and dad so my mom my mom is like you know trying to be strong for my dad and for me she she can't show it she's also very emotional person i am my dad doesn't speak much but you know when you know there's something wrong or something so all of us were kind of just trying to be happy for each other that i was like it's fine i was like kind of faking it i thought i'm fine i'm fine but then once i just having this conversation where all three of us broke down like i told dada i think i need to take a break i'm not in a good headspace and i just started crying that my mom was my mom also let out her emotions she's like you know just so tough to see the two people i love