it's what clinical depression it is bad because the entire hormonal system of the mind the body is completely changed and they need that medication to move them out of that but it's not the end a long with medication they have to make lifestyle changes they have to look see everyone on this planet has a purpose and on social media like you said there are a lot of people who say our life is meaningless if you feel your life is meaningless it is your job to make it meaningful it is your job it is your accountability and your responsibility today people want to push responsibility on everyone else but at the end of the day you are responsible for everything that is happening in your life everyone people must have done the worst things to you but you are still responsible for your life mmm you can blame and complain that's gonna drain you more it's gonna depress you more or you can use that energy to move on and change it's difficult yeah but we have to do it


it's difficult yeah but we have to do it there's no choice is it fair to say that everyone who diagnoses themselves with depression is not actually clinically depressed and if 100% like I said most people most people who have diagnosed themselves as depression in fact today there's a lot of scientific study talking about that the more psychologists talk to people that if I say come on go and talk about your problem you're going deeper and deeper and deeper into it I can talk to you once but now I need to move the conversation on how you move forward not how you get deeper so there's medical research coming up on how consoling has to change its path because the more you put attention on a problem the more the problem grows so if I'm going to make you talk about your for example relationship that is depressed you more and more you're getting deeper and deeper into it I need to create a distraction in the mind right now you know empathizing with you but moving on to


you know empathizing with you but moving on to a path that can get you out of this not keep you in it which is a correct diet and correct exercise plan everything exercise the food that you eat there sleep that you get and the company that you keep today most teenagers are depressed because they're in the wrong company you know so it's not just teenagers it's it's it's a middle-aged women as well they come to me and they say Luke with the president I say yeah when are you most oppressed so you know after I come back from this Kitty party I say what happened this kitty party oh you know I teach I think people are judging the way I look the way I dress I said you're the only thing I write in on a prescription change your group that's your solution group so you know at a teenage level we all want to fit in we want to fit in with the coolest people but I'll tell you one thing the coolest people are the most insecure people


thing the coolest people are the most insecure people they're cool because they need to you know make these falls operations in front of people to appear cool because that's the way they get attention so you know the genuinely good people not that they're bad people they need help you know they want to be aligned with the cool factors and stuff like that but have your own mind find coolness in different aspects in your life you know you don't need to hang around with someone cool to be cool you can be cool on your own yeah by hanging around with the cool person doesn't make you cool in any way but then we bring on depression because we're living a false life I don't want to be in that group but since it's the coolest group I need to be with them party with them do drugs with them smoke cigarettes with them it's not adding value to my life at all how much of a factor do you feel something like binge drinking pot smoking all that is like I know in


pot smoking all that is like I know in moderation you can get past everything but in the modern day with teenagers we're seeing like this big wave of marijuana take over the country we're seeing but big wave of binge drinking partying take over the country how much of factor do you feel that is in this whole mental health issues game it plays a huge role see Ranveer I always say the problem is never with alcohol the problem is never where okay drugs are bad all of that stuff the problem is with the person doing it like I know people were 90 95 years old having two pegs for the last 50 years of their life every day they're happy people they exercise that whatever doesn't affect them so the problem is not alcohol now for example you take you take a person who goes and starts abusing alcohol drinking alcohol to feel good about themselves to feel more confident binge drinking to show off binge drinking to you know knocked stress out of your life you're doing a


knocked stress out of your life you're doing a bit the wrong intention it is gonna harm you yeah and again why must you binge drink I can understand all one two wild nights once in a way everyone's have a good time but when you're doing it every weekend something is wrong with you what void are you filling it is not cool and the people who initiated are the people who want other people to be like them because they can't stop it themselves yeah so if I can't stop something how do I feel better about myself make you part of it I make you part of it so I think binge drinking is it's I think it's a very you know it's a it comes from a behavior of insecurity yeah enjoy ARCA like I said alcohol if you truly enjoy it is not gonna harm you people smoke joints everyone's done it of course now people when they start overdoing they start so for example you break up with your girlfriend you're sad you start smoking


up with your girlfriend you're sad you start smoking smoking makes you feel good so you smoke more and more and more and more but you're not dealing with the break-up you you're using a coping mechanism and that every time you go through anything in life that makes you feel the press what will you turn to the joint because it made you feel good but you're sitting watching a sunset you're smoking a joint in your teenage years in joint right intention right intention okay you're fine you're absolutely fine there are people who are doing it throughout a lifetime and they have zero health problems and Andrew people who are doing a little bit of it and messing up their lives but yes if you're going through mental and you know emotional disorders moving towards a drug or too much of alcohol is only a coping mechanism it's gonna make you worse not better yes take a step back observe like the whole kind of ecosystem of your own life yeah and then take off absolutely


of your own life yeah and then take off absolutely absolutely and it's gonna be different for everyone everyone everyone is different don't compare someone says oh I got over my depression I feel happier because I binge drink that doesn't mean that's your solution your solution could be something totally different so like have a mind of your own that's it beautiful also look I feel that like kind of the base of all this mental health meditation overall health somewhere boils down to the basics which is the fuel you're putting inside your body right and the ways in which you're making your body move so those are the two final would because I want to talk to you about basics about nutrition not like a diet or something but water kind of the you know golden rules when it comes to food for your body okay so I think see the main thing is like people love food okay the problem is not with food the problem is how we eat it yeah we too much of it so overeating is a big problem read at


of it so overeating is a big problem read at the wrong times we eat and go to sleep straight away so we become more acidic so if you really see you can enjoy so many different foods if we just put the discipline of lifestyle to it which means eat at the right times eat when you're really hungry when your body is asking you food if you're just full and you're just eating mindlessly you need to know that you're upsetting the entire dynamics of the body and the intelligence of the body so I do that no one's stopping you from eating just eat at the right time and eat the right quantity you know why must you overeat you can still have the same food that you like today tomorrow or next week yeah but we try to get that into our system right now you know at one go because we're mindlessly doing these things you know so I think if most people just start respecting food yeah okay forget about diet food in fact diets don't work at all you know I


fact diets don't work at all you know I know so many people who eat what they want you just have a discipline in their life they don't over eat ate at the right times they do a little bit of exercise they sleep well at night and they're fine they don't have to die that's a man-made you know it is money behind it there's all of these things and stuff like that so I think when it comes to eating food as well we should eat when we relaxed we eat when we're stressed it's not working for you something that really worked for me when I named a food a big change for me was when I started like having this I started following this practice of only eating when I'm eating as in when I'm eating that's all I do I don't watch TV I don't read a book I just focus on the food and it also makes the whole process a lot more enjoyable you become very aware of when your body becomes full and you're just more grateful for like the


full and you're just more grateful for like the capsule ooh that's perfect that's bring me to my next point is we need to extract pleasure from food if the meal that we just say didn't give us pleasure it's not worked for yes because pleasure is a human it's a human emotion you see every human being is hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain yeah in everything we do you're trying to become the CEO of the company why what is the underlying agenda okay to seek pleasure pleasure from position the money that you want avoid pain of failure not achieving so when it comes to food if we don't extract pleasure from our food and the only way we can do it is when we're involved in our food so if we can finish a meal saying wow I truly enjoyed that meal it has worked for you if the meal wasn't a great meal yeah but people eat junk food Whitgift that oh this is bad for me and I'm gonna have to workout in the


me and I'm gonna have to workout in the gym it's not work for you if it's junk try to extract pleasure from it let it work for you so these are the basics of you know like look at the French Europeans they enjoy food no matter what they do and it doesn't affect them yeah because their their mental state is so differ in their approach I think in India we've just have a bad relationship with food we've already tagged chocolate ice cream as well gain fat this is bad this that's bad you know you can see you know what the extreme diets in our country right now the question I need to ask is like why isn't simplicity working you know people were healthy before all these extreme diets came you know so why do we need to make it more and more complicated because people are trying to fit into a cult whether it's the keto cult I have nothing against keto and all of these things but people the vegan cult it's okay do it but do


the vegan cult it's okay do it but do it with authenticity don't do it - my question is like when you were eating food while you were growing up if you were healthy that's the same food you should be eating now why are you changing you know because after you finish breastfeeding from your mom the food that your parents fed you grew you from a small infant to a young boy it completed your brain groped your liver your heart your musculoskeletal system that food is information to your genes it's in your genetic makeup and if that food didn't make you sick didn't make you fat unhealthy that's the food you should be eating your body resonates with it but patronage search for new things look for super foods from South America and every maybe it's good but is it necessary it's a question so we got to keep it simple there are people I know who eat samosas for lunch roadside food and all of that stuff people on the load office people sometimes they they eat all


on the load office people sometimes they they eat all of this roadside food look at their reports they are clean lately because they've accepted this is food its energy for my body they're grateful for it they move on with their work but the people who are getting more health obsessed have all the possible issues with their medical reports because the mind is involved you know all of those things very often I see the people who give like the most health advice other ones were actually dealing with the most probably were obsessed with health yeah because they become so obsessed they found out they've they've removed simplicity from their life aside like I say health shouldn't be complicated our body is already designed to keep us healthy yeah all I need to do is introspect and see what is affecting my health and work on that but we don't have to look for outside complicated solutions they don't work and if you know like health literally lifestyle is free yeah it doesn't cost you money to make a lifestyle change but


cost you money to make a lifestyle change but yet people are like looking for complication looking for more expensive things that they think can change their health also when it comes to health in the model modern day especially for young people I personally because I'm always around by young people I see two big mistakes that they make one is that um this less so home food consumed today like it's usually they are ordering on one of our ordering delivery apps and that happens every day and - I just feel that there's too much processed food around us like there's too much food that has um you know like that's come out of a factory yeah so as a health export could you quantify the safe number in terms of how many times a week can you eat outside food see I'll let me put it this way okay it can take one outside meal to basically negate seven to eight days of the hard work that you've put in with exercise and food yeah like go into a normal Chinese restaurant or any grill or whatever


into a normal Chinese restaurant or any grill or whatever like a normal bowl of fried rice we'll have so much of oil that would be a quota for the next one week now we got to think backwards that's all I want to say I don't want to be you know negative and tell people not to eat I'll just do the math because what is the job of even the best hotel and restaurant to make your food taste good how do you do that what are the ingredients salt sugar oil that's it it's as simple as that so home food doesn't use that although it tastes so good because it's made with love but your mom and all of that stuff but again the youth today their mindsets have been changed by smart marketing so everyone's on swiggy or have you there's gonna have you swig heed this I just swiggy in dinner so again there be swinging and a doctor and nutritionist as well very very quickly haha because face it now look at this everything comes in plastic okay


it now look at this everything comes in plastic okay we all know what happens when heat and plastic mixed together there's leaching of BPA BPA increases estrogen in both men and women what are some of the biggest problems amongst men women and youth today hormonal problems young girls PCOD weight gain belly gain young men hyperactivity anger issues low testosterone more fat than muscle okay so now imagine I'm a chef okay I make hot food you swig it in your order I put that hot food into a plastic container I cover it so I maintain I'm retaining the heat so that beautiful chemical leaching process has started it probably takes you one hour to get your order most people will reheat it again in the microwave so you're reheating you're reheating in plastic and then you're putting all of that stuff in your system now I understand some people need to it's a convenience food but if we really get into that effort of really getting a different service the different service comes from


really getting a different service the different service comes from someone's kitchen okay maybe it's not that fancy so you may not want to put it up on Instagram and stuff like that but the truth is what are we feeding ourselves it also maybe once or twice in a week yes try to get better you know but if you think you're eating here do you think this is adding to your health no it's only slowly slowly leaching health out of your systems that wasn't so personally the system I follow is like about twice maybe thrice a week I'll eat outside yeah and the rest of it I try focusing a lot on my fruits and my vegetables or my fresh food and because obviously I lift weights I have to get protein and correct so I need a bit of paneer a bit of egg white I have like a couple of plant protein shakes that actually you've recommended and you know I have a lot of nuts a lot of fresh food that's been working for me here I do end up


that's been working for me here I do end up going slightly high on my calories because I need to maintain a certain amount of muscle mass and I back that up with a lot of physical exercise I'm in the gym at least thrice or four times a week good decently heavy workouts and one thing I've added into my life and is the final module we're talking about is sport oh my god it's such a beautiful thing and you know sport doesn't just mean football or cricket it can even mean dance so you know anything you any physical movement that you really enjoy that also actually strains your system in a positive way so coming to movement finally I feel that you know how people go like here you know what Oh eighty percent of your health is your diet and only twenty percent is exercise so I'm not gonna exercise I'm just gonna focus on my diet hold on hold on wait there's so many benefits you can get from the world of movement from the world of exercise in fact you


of movement from the world of exercise in fact you just by excited by playing football twice a week you can work off so many of the you know extra meals that your kind of paralysis yeah so what's your take on this whole exercise to me is an antidepressant it's you natural antidepressant I don't have a single patient who came to us depressed and I told him walk for one hour and message me how you feel and every message back was I feel great so one is I mean people human beings find shortcuts like okay I'll just focus on my dad and not exercise exercise has nothing to do with your weight exercises everything to do with your physiology your hormones we don't exercise to lose weight we you we exercise to keep our hormones and balance and because they're in balance we can lose weight yeah so you know movement like you said you know you don't have to gym you don't have to movement anything that keeps you moving is great so like playing a game like you know I


great so like playing a game like you know I had all my fitness trainers who were like the elite trainers of the country we played a game of football about four weeks ago every one of them took a week to recover but in the gym they're lifting the heaviest weights and great bodies and all of that stuff what did the sport do a challenge their cardiovascular it worked out muscles that no amount of dreaming will do but the best part is they all felt so good so you know sometimes your cardio can be a sport it could be a game it could be a sprint it could be dance like you said it could be anything we want people to be creative it doesn't have to cost money you don't have to have a gym membership you can make the outsides your gym you can hang from a bar you can do pull-ups push-ups squats all of these things but again medias design they show you this great looking body behind a stack of weights and immediately our mind connects oh here's a


weights and immediately our mind connects oh here's a great body because he lifts weights you know I mean for bodybuilders and all its great but for normal people who just want to be lean and ripped and great muscular bodies you use your own body weight you can do it in a hostel you can do it in college you can do it in a hotel room you just need the self-discipline to do it yeah you need consistency discipline I just think that people need to perceive this world of exercise as a very normal change in the lifestyle and not something that they're doing for a while in order to get fit a lot of people enter the world of say weight training or playing sports with that intention of I'm gonna do it till I become trained or till I become fit and then let's see but it's not that it's it has to be a change for the rest of its a lifestyle it's gotta be a part of your life so like I always say plan your day around four


so like I always say plan your day around four things the food that you're gonna eat don't get obsessed about it just make sure that you're getting your balance yeah two is the movement where do I have time for movement okay three years can i prioritize my sleep tonight if not eight hours at least seven if not seven at least six prioritize it if it's not a priority it's not going to happen and that 10 minutes for your meditation or 15 minutes if you can prioritize your day around these four things it doesn't take time if you really break it down it doesn't take time we just got to do it yeah I like that one more like surround yourself with the right people surround yourself with the right people because you can have the best things in life happening and you can have the wrong people who suck everything out of you your self-esteem your self-confidence you know people suck that out of you you know material things don't do that to you people do that so we got to be


to you people do that so we got to be careful of the wrong people and on the flip side if you're surrounded by people like Luke with the you know you're always gonna be in a good thank you brother likewise bro this was super fun enriching for me as well I'm gonna link all of Luke's handles down below make sure you go follow him everywhere just listening to this man talking on any topic will be one of the most enriching things we'll put your mind through go through it and until next time guys from Luke and Ranveer we'll see you later thank you thank you


all of the words that we have for our sexual organs are abusive words okay we go back in time they talk about all of these words with such utter beauty even the vagina for instance is known as the chandan mahal the clitoris is referred to as the madan chatri the umbrella of the love god and so on so i think that the words that you use start to also define your actions the moment you stop thinking of that as dirty and bad and abusive you your mind already starts to change in the way that you approach something how are you i'm very good ranveer how are you i'm great this is a dream podcast for me before i talk about why it's a dream podcast i want to introduce you to my audience so ms anand is one of the foremost voices the most modern voices in the world of the kama sutra she's one of the world's most renowned authors narrative practitioners and mythologists and today she's on the ranvir show it's lovely to


she's on the ranvir show it's lovely to be over here ranveer ma'am so uh honestly i feel like the world of the indian internet especially from a youth standpoint is obsessed with sex and in more modern times this concept of nofap and celibacy especially the male audiences so before we begin talking about those topics i'd like to ask you how you would explain the world of the kama sutra in the most simple way how would you explain it to a 20 year old so interestingly i've discovered that the kama sutra like you said if i have to actually explain it in the shortest possible way kama sutra is about pleasure not about sex okay sex is a very physical act that anybody can indulge in the act of sex pleasure is something that only the human mind can actually understand and indulge in pleasure is a much longer lasting thing and it's actually extremely good for you and it is something that actually takes you to a whole different height it's supposed to


you to a whole different height it's supposed to elevate you it's supposed to make you um reach certain heights that you can't otherwise reach but what do you mean by height you mean in terms of human experience and i mean literally in terms of human experience i mean in terms of elevating the mind so this is what it was written for uh watching who's the author of the kamasutra actually says this in his introduction he says that you know the idea is so as we talk about it we'll talk about how elegant and beautiful and refined this whole world is it's nothing like we think of the act of sex today and it talks about this refinement um and this beauty in such a way because in ancient times they believed that everything had to start from the point of physical intimacy so uh actually i'm going to give you a little example of it and probably explain it better everything that every time a king came to the throne they would have a version of the kama sutra


they would have a version of the kama sutra commissioned for their kingdom so there's not just one kamasutra there are thousands of them and each time they had it commissioned they believed that if a couple could share really really good mutually pleasurable intimacy that means that the relationship would be stable if the relationship was stable society would be stable if society was stable the kingdom would be stable beautiful so this was about the the the bigger picture it was about they literally believed back in that time that success in any part of your life whether you were a warrior whether you're an economist whether you're a trader whatever it is that you did success in any part of your life depended on your success in your physical intimate life and eventually if the aim is to reach god all love has to first begin at the physical level before you can start to elevate it so i guess that's what i mean when i say that you know it and hence it's not about sex because sex the


and hence it's not about sex because sex the act of sex is on its own it doesn't mean very much it was about pleasure it was about arousal it was about desire because of course in ancient times again we believe that the highest form of energy is the sexual energy i mean you're a sports person you know that if you if you're out there running or doing a certain amount of exercise it gets your metabolism going they believe that when you have arousal when you're in the state of pleasure and elevating pleasure there is more metabolism in your body than even when you exercise because every part of your body goes into some form of activity your heart rate your breathing your hormones are being secreted everything and eventually if you consider um this is where if you if you carry the this pleasure to its final um point this is how you can create life only god can create life so you know this was considered the highest form of energy because it's that powerful hence this


form of energy because it's that powerful hence this was an extremely important thing and times gone by beautiful so from what i understand i do feel that physical pleasure was given a lot of importance but sex as a concept was just a part of the world called physical pleasure but in saying that how have we transitioned into this modern day india where even the act of hugging is almost like looked down upon where if a guy and a girl hug each other it's considered oh my god how are you having physical contact with each other how did we transition into this so i think that as times change things change you know the narrative changes so i really believe that you know it's the stories that we tell they actually create our identity so if you tell a story of a man who comes home and he's drunk and he beats up his wife but we say oh the wife was so good she was so good she never said anything she was such a good woman she never said anything to him


such a good woman she never said anything to him then that's what you're expecting the good wife to be right so the stories that we tell around us are the stories that start to define who we are and it's interesting to think that when the kamasutra is written in 300 and something 80 at exactly the same point in 325.80 across the oceans in somewhere in turkey the first council of the catholic church is set up and they immediately from setting up start saying how bad is pleasure how bad is the body that sex is the road to hell on the other side across the across the oceans on the banks of the river ganges watsyan is sitting and he's writing the kama sutra and he's saying how good is pleasure how beautiful it is it's the path to heaven so we have two narratives that come up at the same time this narrative from the west does permeate our nation quite strongly because as you know india has always been invaded and occupied since


know india has always been invaded and occupied since time began almost you know from the time of the mauryas when you think about the fifth sixth century onwards we've always had invaders who have always brought their own narrative with them so you think it was the job of the invaders like they kind of brought these concepts of oh my god sex is taboo i i think that you know in a lot like i said the catholic church even at the point of starting up starts to say that this is bad okay and we think that the british came in uh in around the 1700s and the 1600s actually no we've had the the western world come in much earlier the portuguese the um the dutch the and so on you know so they've been coming in but also like i said with time things change so as people come in as the the ruling parties change as invaders come in they bring certain other rituals and rules with them and so on so stories change over time


with them and so on so stories change over time and it's just you know it's really really difficult when you start trying to change a story back because that's what i'm trying to do at the moment when you start trying to go back when you think about it ranveer i mean i much older than you obviously but i grew up in post-colonial india okay so i went to wellams i went to lady sriram college i did literature at lady sriram college three years of literature we never studied a single ancient indian text okay not even one so we don't even know what our past stories were how do we even start to learn them i can tell you anything you want about shakespeare i can give you every reference to context i can talk to you about milton from morning to night about paradise lost i until i came to this country and started to study again i had no idea what our ancient texts even said and when you think about it the kama sutra was reinterpreted much


think about it the kama sutra was reinterpreted much later in life so it's in the 1800s when actually there's an englishman who he called richard burton who um inter who re interprets the kama sutra now what people don't realize is when i talk about the kama sutra and i talk about all these beautiful things over there they'll always say ma'am tell me about the best version of the kama sutra to read but that's not what it was about you know these texts whether it was the earth shastra whether it's the bhagavad-gita whether it was the kam shastra they were all written as treaties they were written almost in scientific manner and all science in those days was dedicated to god so they're written in the form of hymns and poetry and they're not really even the ngati sastra you know the the book on drama and dance they're not written for the average person to understand they're written in metaphors so there are commentaries that you have to read to understand


are commentaries that you have to read to understand what they say so if you go back to the kama sutra the only thing that makes sense to the normal reader who doesn't know about what the other metaphors mean the only thing that makes sense is the little tiny chapter on positions because you understand what a position means and that's why we've come to understand that the kamasutra is just about positions we don't know what the positions are we don't know why they were talking about there was a reason over there for for the positions as well but yeah so there is this point about it changes the narrative changes but if you don't even have the basic background of knowing what it was about you can't actually go back to that story beautiful um you know if you think about it i mean just to mention when you think about it even the you know like okay you take the mahabharata and so on you take a lot of the qurans over the centuries those qurans existed in some way


the centuries those qurans existed in some way or the other and they've all been depicted in some kind of statues and sculpture and painting and so on the bhagavad-gita has got no visual depictions till we get to the 1800s it was again it was one of those um texts that was lost when mahatma gandhi read it for the first time he was already studying in england as a lawyer and he read it the first time in a translation in english so people in our country weren't even weren't growing up with any of our old texts and i also feel there's this whole wave of writers who's trying to bring back ancient indian knowledge that includes you that includes mr amishtapati so my question to you now is that if you i know it's an extremely difficult question to answer but i will still try asking it so for a modern man and a woman what are three separate kind of learnings that they can take away after studying the kama sutra the


can take away after studying the kama sutra the way you have just three learnings three learnings for men and three learnings for women if you have to boil it down like that so what i'm going to tell you actually ranvir is that i'm not going to give you three separate ones for men and women and i'll tell you why i'm going to give you three takeaways but not separately and i'll tell you why a lot of people also come and ask me um what about gay relationships what's the karma sutras say about gay relationships like i said it actually talks about pleasure so it talks about what gives a woman pleasure and what gives a man pleasure it doesn't say that a man has to pleasure the woman or the woman has to pleasure the man and so on so the idea here is that we are talking about understanding pleasure for me the first thing that struck me was the fact that there is absolutely no bad language used in the book there's no abusive language


language used in the book there's no abusive language if you think about our um sexual vocabulary all of the words that we have for our sexual organs are abusive words okay we go back in time they talk about all of these words with such utter beauty even the vagina for instance is known as the chandan mahal the clitoris is referred to as the madan chatri the umbrella of the love god and so on so i think that the words that you use start to also define your actions the moment you stop thinking of that as dirty and bad and abusive you your mind already starts to change in the way that you approach something right the next thing is that it absolutely does not permit any kind of violence so through the entire text it says in a moment of passion a man might get to a certain point where he you know he lashes out in a moment of passion you can't do this you cannot hit so hard because so and so king did this to his mistress and he blinded


king did this to his mistress and he blinded his mistress so-and-so king did this and he hurt his mistress you cannot do this and constantly it says that you cannot use any kind of violence or aggression and it goes so far this is the first text that actually gives women a sort of equality a platform of equality and it gives women the right to consent so it actually says that it is up to the woman to decide if the pressure or um the the passion that is being used is too aggressive so he it says that you know in a moment of passion if your lover bites you too hard if that love bite is too hard for you tell him to stop if he doesn't stop you bite him back twice as hard till he stops which we always think is a really cute way of saying it but it's the first time that women are being given the right to consent and i think that's amazing the next thing it tells us is that men and women both have


it tells us is that men and women both have very very different forms of pleasure for a man the pleasure is like fire it's very very quick to put to ignite it's very quick to put out it starts like fire it starts down there it goes upwards a woman's passion is like water it's her pleasure is like water it starts here and goes downwards and like water it takes very long to come to the boil takes very long to come down okay and so it it kind of tries to express its education in such a way that men and women understand because he goes on to say he says that men and women are left to their own their pleasure is never going to coincide because it's so different so how do you actually go about doing this in a way that you both feel the same arousal you both feel that pleasure in each other's company and i think um yeah so it's like i said you know it's not just the one thing but it's it and i think that


the one thing but it's it and i think that it's just this idea of slowing everything down it's it's about understanding that you slow it down because there are other things to do the other amazing thing that i think is a takeaway from this it goes out of its way to explain to men that women have a very different form of pleasure and the first time or the first few times that you make love if you are too rushed and if you if you don't make it pleasurable for the woman you will actually put her off it for the rest of her life oh wow so it actually tells you a man it explains to a man how to go about it okay it then says that the most important thing i mean this is like a big chapter in there in the in the so the you know the kamasutra is made up of seven sections only section two deals with love making and foreplay oh pleasure it says conversation is your biggest thing so before you make love before you even start your


so before you make love before you even start your foreplay what is the thing that you're supposed to start with conversation so it says that the man must tell the woman stories to make her shed her inhibitions you know start to get her desire going etc and he says okay at this point you have to tell different types of stories so you have to kind of tell her stories which are slightly gossipy or naughty something that'll get a reaction from her basically so she's supposed to say oh my god you know you didn't seriously say that or you know or whatever so basically you're supposed to get her to shed her inhibitions after making love you have a different set of conversation because after you've made love with so before you make love you're supposed to have a conversation that's supposed to excite her after you make love the conversation is even more important because he says that the way that you finish this time will dif will define how quickly she comes back to your bed next time so at


she comes back to your bed next time so at the end of it you have to now tell her beautiful stories of lovers who come together and they make love and they're really happy that they made love because you have to convince her now that actually what you've done is a good thing and it's a good thing for both of you so it's actually really really it's impressive the way that he gets into the psyche of both man and woman and i think the most important thing i would like to say and i want people to understand this the kama sutra is not about teaching women how to seduce men the kamasutra was actually written to teach men how to pleasure a woman because in in the 300 and something 80 men were not taught how to i mean women were not taught how to read or write so men were taught how to read or write and hence this book is written for men and the patron deity of the kamasutra is not kamdev it's not the god of


is not kamdev it's not the god of love and desire the patron deity of the kama sutra is saraswati the goddess of music and learning because it says that you can be rich you can be anything but only a man who is culturally really well versed he's the most desirable lover of all i have to ask you the the obvious next question which is that from that chapter which talks about rules for men not rules but guidelines for men could you give us like four or five pieces of information for the young guys watching this okay so they basically his thing is that first of all you have to make yourself worthy of the woman okay being rich is not good enough he has a very long you know section one actually defines how a man should look after himself physically so you have to look good for the woman you have to learn all these cultural arts so you know all these young men would have known how to play musical instruments draw etc and so on because you have


instruments draw etc and so on because you have to be able to attract a woman to you okay and for long-term attraction there has to be a diverse personality it's not enough to just be one thing and say yeah well you're going to fancy me today and tomorrow you won't if you want either a lot of women or a lot of women over a long time to fancy you you have to create a very diverse personality for yourself so that's point number one for the young guys secondly it says that talking about love or talking about excitement or talking about pleasure is extremely important but women do not like straight out in your face bad language okay so he literally says i mean this is actually really good for youngsters for today because he says that you should constantly send messages to each other to keep that excitement going now in those days you didn't have texting and whatsapping and so he literally uses almost everything that you so there's a whole vocabulary around pawn


that you so there's a whole vocabulary around pawn about how you exchange pan what kind of pan had what kind of meaning to it okay so you give this pawn and it means i really love you you give this pawn or you send this pawn you know you would send the pawn you send this pun and it would mean well i like you but i'm kind of i could take you or leave you you send another pawn it could mean that i'll have sex with you but i'm pretty indifferent to you you know so there was different ways of um sending messages there were different pieces of jewelry that you could wear to indicate um i mean that was for both men and women today of course men don't necessarily wear jewelry but it was this whole idea of a secret coded language between lovers and you know what actually a lot of psychologists today will say that couples or people that have more code words for nookie or for making love or for seduction actually have healthier relationships they have a better romantic relationship


have healthier relationships they have a better romantic relationship wow because you have your own internal channel with the person absolutely so it's like having a private joke it means that you know um you can just sort of close yourself off even if you're in the middle of a crowded room suddenly that can be something to trigger a memory and you know it's yeah amazing so ma'am i need to kind of take you away from the world of these books that you've read and i need to ask you about the wisdom you've gained from it so say you enter a room with a lot of people now for you specifically you what would you see in a man and think to yourself okay that's a very well-rounded person that's an attractive individual from the wisdom you've gained from the books how do you apply it to your own daily life so i think that generally when i and so for anybody when they enter a room there's a certain type of person that they automatically are attracted to looks wise so


that they automatically are attracted to looks wise so i think that's pretty um individual i i think you know that doesn't count for very much but for me i have discovered over time interestingly that i immediately go for somebody where i find the conversation more fascinating so if i find someone who can talk to me about a lot of diverse things i do find that i find myself spending more time with that person so yeah i think that when you enter a room there's always a specific type of person that everybody is attracted to i think that's very subjective it's very individual so looks wise i think everybody goes for whatever they find interesting i personally find that it is the conversation that i'm drawn to and i think that as time goes on that becomes more and more the case or at least i'm talking about for everybody not just for me um because i've had people say this to me in the past as they gain levels of maturity that looks you can only focus on for


of maturity that looks you can only focus on for a certain amount of time it's a very short-lived amount of time i think that it's always the conversation that will take it that much further from one minute or 15 minutes i mean how long can you look at somebody after all what keeps that going and for me personally what keeps it going for me is somebody who has possibly got the same uh wide breadth of reading i really really find that very attractive you know somebody who's read a lot and somebody who knows what literature i'm talking about and somebody who has a sense of humor somebody who can make me laugh but i'm not talking about the you know the the okay fine there's a couple of jokes that you tell it just more and more the deeper you get into it it's about the subtlety it's about how subtle you get the other thing i find that nothing if something is too perfect it turns you off um it turns me it's like a


you off um it turns me it's like a chocolate box something is too pretty it doesn't go too fast so like even with somebody who's too perfectly dressed or too perfect looking or whatever i don't know is there something about that person then that becomes non-exciting i think there's always got to be that little something that is a little bit off that's for me personally got it uh this ability for great conversation can you work on it over time and i'm talking about both the genders can men women or all the genders can any human being work on this ability to be a better conversationalist definitely so i think that it comes at different levels one is that of course you can go and do a session or you can do a few sessions with a teacher who will teach you public speaking that's one thing it's more than that it's about widening your interests you know in the kama sutra there is a chapter called the 64 skills the famous chonset colors that those concert colors were


the famous chonset colors that those concert colors were not to teach you how to be a better lover they were to teach you how to develop a more diverse personality because if you are interested in 12 things you are able to talk on 12 things to me it's going to be far more exciting if you can talk to me about only two things if that's the only thing that you can talk about that's really going to limit the amount of conversation that we have because those might not be the two things that interest me okay so that's one thing the other thing that i really think helps is shedding a little part of your brain which says uh this is not for me to talk about you know there's a lot of men particularly and young guys who have this thing about what they think is cool and manly to talk about shed that because i've had guys say to me uh you know like if we're talking about somebody and i'll say oh my god that that guy's really sweet and


oh my god that that guy's really sweet and they'll be like oh my god that's the worst insult that you can give a man and i'll be like no that isn't actually i think that's a huge compliment from me because i'd like to spend time with that person but it doesn't say and then they will argue no no that's not it when a woman says sweet to a man she doesn't don't tell me i'm a woman don't tell me what i think and what i'm feeling i get also a lot this is also really important when it comes to conversation i get a lot of people writing into me wanting advice on sexual matters and a lot of them will write to me and say i like to do this and this in bed is that okay don't ask me ask the woman that you're with you know learn to talk to that person so it's a whole range of things from saying okay how can you be a better speaker because you know what being a better speaker is


speaker because you know what being a better speaker is good for you in every sphere of your life okay i'm not saying that if you're not a good speaker you won't be a success i'm just saying it's a huge help if you can be okay uh we call it in the trade we call it being a better storyteller every leader till now every effective leader till now knows that the only way to get somebody's attention is by being a good storyteller it's when you tell the right stories and that doesn't mean stories from mythology i'm talking about generally so be a good conversationalist but my biggest advice is extend your interests learn to develop interests even the ones that you think this is not manly enough learn to develop your interests you will automatically be able to talk about more things beautiful um if you date a boring person do you become boring um i think in today's day and age if you date a boring person you're more likely to leave that person going


person you're more likely to leave that person going back to my generation if you married a boring person or you dated you because you were a lot of people in my generation did tend to stay in that relationship for longer it was just the way life was in those days yeah you would also become boring because it would unless you really really rebelled against that and came out of it and made an effort because it would kill off your personality also so ma'am the world of yoga keeps talking about how physical intimacy contains a lot of exchange of energies and they say that couples who are together for really long start thinking in the same way become kind of one person if it's healthy love or even if it's unhealthy love i'm guessing they exchange negative traits does any of the books talk about this kind of concept of an exchange of energy and exchange of personality traits through sex yes so it's a very common theme in all texts i mean particularly when you read books that discuss so i


mean particularly when you read books that discuss so i must tell you that the kamasutra itself does not talk about the act of sex at all it talks about positions talks about the architecture of the positions not about the actor's sex but there are other texts that do talk about sex and yes they do say that when you even when you kiss somebody okay when you actually kiss somebody mouth to mouth um for an extended period of time you do exchange your energies there is a transference of one energy to the other i guess when you are that closely and think about it even if you sit in a room with somebody for long enough um on one sofa let's say and just chat if the other person is really like oh you know you will pick that up and you start to feel sleepy by the end of it if the other person is really up there and you know buzzing and bouncing around you will pick that up so yeah definitely there is an exchange of energy in ancient times again


there is an exchange of energy in ancient times again particularly in tantra and in the ancient chinese erotic texts they talk about how to balance out this by um certain techniques during sex so that if you don't want to take the other person's energy on or um in a lot of the cases it was it was said that you know you had um the the man would ejaculate into the woman so the woman would get his energy but he wouldn't get hers and it was believed that a woman had a much higher level of energy it was believed in ancient times that a woman has eight times the capacity for sexual arousal than a man does and before we come to this whole patriarchal narrative of saying oh my god a woman is loose because she has eight times the amount of capacity to be aroused and hence she's very difficult to please the idea of that was that if arousal is supposed to be the highest form of energy she has eight times the level of being able


energy she has eight times the level of being able to gather harness that energy okay so it was believed that a man cannot get a woman's energy because she cannot ejaculate into him so there are ancient techniques i don't know anybody who's actually practiced them where the man instead of ejaculating into the woman could actually suck the woman's um sexual fluids into himself and gather her energy i don't i don't know like i said people say that they can do it i'm not convinced that anybody can or can't unless they've practiced to do this for i don't know like decades and decades but the interesting thing that they do talk about and this is an easier one to deal with is that the sitting position is the one that was considered the best simply because then nobody is underneath or on top which means that one is not giving the energy the other one's not sucking it up in the sitting position you have an equal chance of getting each other's energies but


an equal chance of getting each other's energies but yes they also said that when you have sex in the normal position face to face and you kiss at the same time you then created a circuit you know you completed the circuit and the energy could rotate and within both people equally got it wow okay this is a lot of depth to absorb in one conversation but i'm still going to keep going um all right so the next question i had to ask you was that have you read anything about occult aspects in physical intimacy uh you know like i know that tantra contains some awkward aspects so let's let's begin this whole section of the podcast with you explaining tantra to a 20 year old what what is it what does the word tantric mean what is tantric sex what is the world of tantra in the modern day there's no such thing as tantric sex let's get that straight okay so that for your for your average 20 year old so if i have to explain tantra in a


old so if i have to explain tantra in a couple of lines um which is not easy the ultimate goal in tantra is to achieve god okay but they believe that everything is created by god that means that you have to understand everything there's no such thing as this is good knowledge and this is bad knowledge this is pure this is impure everything had to be understood so that you could actually get beyond this um this uh veil of illusion behind which we live and in understanding each thing you grow your mind so you grow the awareness levels of your mind which means that you open it up more and more the idea being that you get to one point eventually where you are so aware so we don't talk about subconscious and conscious we talk about different levels of awareness you become so aware that you are able to see everything clearly around you with the naked eye so they back in in those times they say that you can see the molecules with the naked eye that's not exactly what it


with the naked eye that's not exactly what it means if you imagine science tells us that the brain is capable the brain has approximately what five million stimuli at one time or something like that it's bombarded with that we pick up only a handful of them as you grow your levels of awareness you are able to pick up more stimuli around you so you notice more that is the final aim so you you kind of get past this veil of illusion this is what they mean when we talk about somebody being able to uh in quantum mechanics they say that if you keep walking into a wall a million times eventually you'll be able to walk through it so the idea here is that they say that you can reach that level of awareness that you can see the molecules with the naked eye so that you can actually disengage the molecules and atoms and find a way through that wall that level of awareness now we know that this is something that may not necessarily happen you can't disengage the


may not necessarily happen you can't disengage the molecules but as a scientist as an engineer you know exactly what i'm talking about so this whole idea of um being able to understand each thing one bit at a time to grow your energy to expand your mind you needed the energy to do it with that energy is they talk about it as the kundalini and they think that that's what it's about it's not about arousing the kundalini it's about that whole sexual arousal harnessing the strength from it because energy that is out of control is going to be destructive so you had to build your mind enough to know that you would be able to harness this energy when it came your way hence there is a great deal of um tantra is not about sex but there is a great many practices that are based around sexual practices or sexual yoga the idea being to come to that level of meditation to to balance the mind to grow the mind does that make sense yes i mean i


the mind does that make sense yes i mean i do have some amount of knowledge of tantra antra so i'll just give it out for the listeners uh basically spiritual practices that are for general benefit for unselfish reasons it's referred to as anthra and tantra in the world of yoga are spiritual practices which are kind of for yourself to benefit something within yourself am i right in saying that ma'am well you know again okay that's like a a one lying answer to a very deep concept but um for me okay so you know the agory saints for instance you've heard of their gories now people are always a bit horrified when you say that the agoris are the ones who will live in the cremation grounds and their practice is to eat a lump of raw flesh from the cremation ground or the body that's burning on the pile but they say that if we say that this whole world is an illusion and we have to get past this illusion then there should be no


to get past this illusion then there should be no difference between that lump of flesh and this lump of cabbage it should be the same thing this is all this world of illusion that we live within this veil of illusion that we left behind so it's not easy um and unfortunately we don't most of us don't have the capacity because it takes a hell of a lot of inner being to give that up i mean can you imagine yourself doing that i can't i can't see myself even going down that path right so i think that it's just extremely deep um i just find it very frustrating because everybody who talks about tantra talks about sex and it's just constantly trying to remind people that that's not what it was about if people really want to go off and actually understand a little bit more there is a group of goddesses called the mahavidyas the goddesses of ultimate knowledge there are ten these are ten goddesses and they worshipped only with tantric practices solely


they worshipped only with tantric practices solely the top and they're in a hierarchy so the top most is kali the bottom most incidentally is lakshmi even lakshmi is included in this group of mahabharata so lakshmi is a hindu goddess a traditional hindu goddess plus she is a mahabit there where she is worshipped through tantric practices read about them it's fascinating like i said i think that the biggest um dis privilege that we've had i mean the the worst thing that could have been dust done to us as a nation as a race of people is that all our ancient literature was boxed up and put away and shut up and we have lost all of it there is just so much knowledge and awareness over there i have to ask you a question which might seem pretty stupid when you gauge it from you know just like a surface level perspective but how does this kind of education you know you absorbing these books or these ancient texts how


you absorbing these books or these ancient texts how does it change you as a person again keeping in mind your modern day life what will you gain from this peace no i don't think it's just about peace i think that it all boils down to understanding you know if you are going to understand the world you have to understand yourself first we all need need role models okay now when i talk about strength for instance inner strength our ancient texts all talk about building up inner strength because it is only with that inner strength that you can deal with the world outside yeah so you know and our ancient texts always say that it doesn't matter what you believe you're going to face the thing to do is to create a balance in your mind so whether you're in a happy time or in a bad time that time will pass everything will pass it's all about how you react to it how you deal with it good times good times can distract you make you lose your balance bad times can distract you they


lose your balance bad times can distract you they can make you lose your balance so the idea is not to learn how to deal with good times or bad times it's to learn how to deal with your own mind your inner self when we come to that point you start trying to figure out how do i understand strength where are my role models so it's very interesting because our ancient qurans particularly describe this when i say to you okay build up your inner strength you know from a physical philosophical point of view it's a very big concept i mean where do you even start right some people say meditate meditate i mean like what then right what are you aiming for so these stories were created to actually give you that understanding because strength that you use at different times is always a different strength you have to come to it differently unfortunately what happens with the advent of patriarchy the idea of inner strength becomes something that only a woman is supposed to develop so when you read your books when you


to develop so when you read your books when you read your stories it is sita or draupadi that have the strength of mind they have the inner strength people like indra or arjun or yudhisthira all of them go out and fight battles their strength is of the muscle and there's a wonderful chapter in the story of durga in the devi bhagavatam where this is before while mahisha surah has been created and the gods are trying to fight against him devi has not yet been created to fight him to defeat him and indra is really really angry so he goes to his guru brihaspati and he says tell me what to do i have to defeat this guy go and do a puja so that you know all the greys are in my favor and i can go and defeat him and prahaspathi says to him he says i can't go and change the planets i can't go up there into the heavens and you know change the grass and i'm not a


and you know change the grass and i'm not a fortune teller i can't tell you what will happen what i can tell you is that you need to build up your inner strength so that you learn to deal with adversity in the same way as you'd learn to deal with victory because this bad time will pass and eventually you will win but when you win that time will also pass and you need to deal with that and indra yells at him he says this is nonsense this is for sadhus like you and for women for warriors like us it's about fighting you just go into your pooja leave the rest to me so unfortunately we don't have um role models that we can follow and we all do need role models so i think that there is a lot also if we talk about culturally you know i find that we're lost now we teach yoga again when i was going growing up in school in india they didn't teach us yoga in school it's come to us through a


yoga in school it's come to us through a very long and convoluted route much later in life and we all say it's so beneficial for us so like i said you know in the art shastra cortillia says that the 64 skills of the kamasutras are extremely important for you to do really well in business it was about understanding so many different things so it's not just about your stories it's about understanding what motivates you and you know i tell you something ranveer this is something that i have learned okay when i talk about the kamasutra for instance when i talk about the the pleasure you talk about the slowness of things you talk about the beauty the elegance i find that our indian audiences totally get it when i talk to my western audiences you have people saying oh for god's sakes who's got the time for this okay our dna is slightly different whatever we might choose to say wherever we're brought up we all have a cultural background that we're not


we all have a cultural background that we're not taught everything that we know some things are just part of our dna they're automatic learning it's part of our cultural background if we don't understand that we don't get to the next point so ma'am i found this inner strength concept you spoke about really interesting i feel like strength is a really wide concept that applies itself to like a bunch of life hacks and life skills which could be the strength of focus or the strength of not being shaken in tough times so i really like to answer about you know how you gain strength from these texts because that's something you can apply in the modern day now speaking about strength one of the recurring themes on the podcast is meditation and we've spoken a lot about meditation on the show but what i really want to ask you is couple based meditation like how early on the podcast we spoke about being in the same room as someone who may be slightly low energy and that pulls your energy down


slightly low energy and that pulls your energy down what happens to the love between a couple or the energy between a couple when they meditate together maybe before engaging in sex or before you know just having conversation does does the kind does couple meditation play a role in making two people closer i think that anything that you do together is something that will increase your uh relationship intimacy so anything that you do together and you enjoy together will increase in will increase the time that you spend together and it will increase the intimacy now we also have this um ancient concept about using different sexual positions to heal chronic illnesses so when i talk about um you know so i mean like when we say that okay the ultimate energy or the ultimate strength that you can get is from your arousal it's your sexual energy in which you have to harness and so on so imagine if you harness that and then um if you have a bottle and you fill it with water in whichever way


and you fill it with water in whichever way you turn the bottle the liquid will flow through that so depending on that you you build up your sexual energy and depending on how you make love in what positions you can get your energy through your thrusting and through different types of breathing and the way that your heart pulses you can actually direct your energy through different streams so you can actually use that to create actually cure chronic illnesses even things like low hemoglobin and stuff like that okay now in tantra they talk about also using your positions to meditate so there is a certain amount of sex or yogic positions that are used and in these what's very interesting is that the first thing they will do is that they will mirror each other's positions totally so if you look at any of the old um paintings you know the miniature paintings and things you'll notice that both the man and the woman are always in exactly the same position so if one has one hand raised like that the other one will


has one hand raised like that the other one will have the other one has one foot traced and so on this again is about balance so again if you look at it from an engineer's point of view when you have when everything is in complete balance everything is still energy is only there when it becomes dynamic so you have a slight you know movement you have your things move so the idea is to bring everything to complete balance so the sex or yogic positions are generally done so that they mirror each other completely the next thing that they do is they actually calm the breath so they will place each other's hands on the partner's nose but you know the the nadis the nadis come out over here just to calm the breath because if the breath is too hard then you're not in you're not in balance you're not meditating so all of this is generally recommended for if you were doing sex or yoga meditation the only thing i have to say is that there are very few people who


to say is that there are very few people who actually understand it properly or teach it properly most people most people are going to go down that same path of free love free sex man you know and it's not good it's not going to take you there so instead of going down that path necessarily my advice is always do your meditation together um particularly for people who've been with each other for a long time take a lot of time to build up the arousal because anyway um the chemistry is such that when it's when somebody's very new in your life you're going to get excited like that when somebody's been in your life for longer it is going to be slower so actually the the ancient texts say that it's better to be with somebody who you've been with for a long time where the chemistry is not instant because it takes you longer to arouse each other or to arouse yourself and with that you harness more energy you and you also experience all the pleasure as as


you and you also experience all the pleasure as as it goes along so uh i've also got to ask you this slightly inappropriate question i don't know if it's inappropriate or not but um is there a role of intoxicants in ancient times in ancient love making have they spoken about intoxicants at all like maybe cannabis maybe alcohol whatever so interestingly they say that a couple of drinks are very good for you anything more than that will slow you down in an ideal world two glasses of red wine or something that was like red wine and they say that one it'll make your breath smell better secondly it'll it's red so it'll color your lips a little bit so it'll give your lips a nice color and thirdly it'll get rid of your inhibitions okay anything more than that is not considered particularly good but that's not to say that there are other texts that don't talk about it but then again it sort of goes into other arenas of um exploring certain things or


into other arenas of um exploring certain things or whatever but by and large like i said the the kamsutra itself recommends two glasses of red wine because it says that's just right anything after that will slow you down you see most people don't realize that your body has this much it has one store of energy okay so anything that you're doing you're taking the energy from that so if you've eaten a meal the energy will go to digest the meal first it will not go to your sexual organs so if you try and have sex after a meal it's really not going to be great sex because your energy is being used up to digest the meal instead okay so ideally what you need for good sex is a really good blood flow to the sexual organs anything that's going to restrict your blood flow to the or to slow it down it's going to end up in not good sex but what activities cause that kind of a blood flow like exercise exercise the best thing for you they say actually the


exercise the best thing for you they say actually the kamasutra says that exercise is what will make you really sexy okay the correct kind of food is very important you know when people talk about aphrodisiacs they're always horrified when i tell them what is the best aphrodisiac there is no food that you can eat which will suddenly turn you into a good lover okay i mean like that is the sad reality of life nothing will turn you into a like okay i'm there but the kamsutra says that the best thing you can do for your sexual um uh abilities is to get rid of wind so anything that causes bloating got it so you eat something and at different ages what gets rid of bloating will be different things hmm it also says that you have your meal after your love making not before if you can help it i have to ask you this one question which i wanted to ask you the first time i ever saw your videos online which was way back how much attention do you get from men


way back how much attention do you get from men like after one of your talks like you know because the subjects you speak of and also i i feel like you're one of the most captivating public speakers that have come across on the internet thank you so you know what what kind of attention do you get from men and when do you know that someone's you know approaching you in a bit of a creepy way do you have like a kind of creep radar in your own head yeah you develop a creep radar um so yeah they generally get very excited i have to say as i'm getting older now i've decided to go gray as you've probably noticed this is very new um so it's going to change that because i don't think i'll have the same kind of um but yeah they do get very very excited i have even had people thinking that i was especially doing just the talk for just them and i've had people approach me and say oh i know what you were saying to


and say oh i know what you were saying to me like you did notice that there were 100 other people in the room but no so yeah so people do get but i think that the upside to this is that it actually gets their minds going you know um it i find a lot of women when they come to the talk will come either because a friend has told them to or they think it's going to be a bit of a laugh by the time they leave they leave in a very different state of mind and i can see that change and i love it because suddenly they've realized that this idea of pleasure is not just that one thing it's not just that one sexual act it's so much bigger there's so much more to it and that they can give themselves permission to feel something else and that's what really makes it for me you know it just and i think that the more people that go back realizing that pleasure is a good thing that it is actually not a sinful dirty


good thing that it is actually not a sinful dirty thing even the creeper zoids who come if they can come and realize that okay um we were in a room full of people talking about this and maybe pleasure is not such a creepy it doesn't have to be dirty or creepy um i think i would have achieved a goal somewhere what's your strat what's your strategy with shoeing people away like how do you kind of politely say goodbye or do you just avoid the politeness i uh it goes from different this thing so uh initially when especially with a lot of indian men what works best is if i say you know i'm already married and suddenly i could be i could be saying no thank you for an hour they're not particular but the moment they think you're another man's property they're like a cha cha you know so they'll okay so then you really want to slap them um some of them some of them um i suddenly get very technical very academic and they think


i suddenly get very technical very academic and they think oh [ __ ] then another lot i will actually uh some of them like the in recent times you know as you talk about it more and more and you circle um the more intense a conversation a lot of them now get very scared because they think i will know more than them wow and that would that would really show them up so then they don't want to approach you either um so and then finally there's a bunch of them that i'm quite rude about and i'll always say to them you know what i'm sorry but you could not handle me for it even one day so you should just leave now what why why why do you say that could not handle me aspect like i mean okay what is the downside to your personal life when you're absorbing this quantity of information is there any kind of downside no the downside is that i now i'm aware of myself i'm an intelligent woman i'm aware of my opinions i'm aware of


woman i'm aware of my opinions i'm aware of my likes and dislikes and i am not going to be railroaded into something i have a definite level of intelligence which i am not frightened to express and that can be quite frightening for somebody i have been married now for oh god if i got married in 85 35 years almost okay and i always think that my husband has to have been an extraordinarily strong man to have dealt with me because i'm not the easiest person because like i said i have a mind of my own so we are two people in this house with very defined ideas of how we should be plus i'm very independent i'm not going to be told by somebody to me they're better you can't do this i choose to make my own decisions i don't say you get to tell me what to do we make our decisions together and we support each other so and finally i think because of my work and because of my beliefs i also have a lot of


because of my beliefs i also have a lot of friends who are male you know who are not just because this is my friend's husband but i have a lot of friends who are men and they're just simply friends so to have that kind of uh inner strength in you to have that level of understanding that it's okay she can have those friends without me getting supremely jealous and thinking [ __ ] what the hell is going on i think that i think that a man needs to be extremely strong a woman a woman also obviously but i'm just saying that traditionally a man has never had to be in that role women on the other hand have had to build up their inner strength because that's the narrative in our patriarchy so not that i have marriage experience to reference but what i gauge about successful marriages is that you kind of need to be a reflection of each other and at the same time have enough differences to keep things interesting uh am i am i right absolutely absolutely you


uh am i am i right absolutely absolutely you know um khalil gibran says something very interesting he says that when two people are married they should be like two pillars supporting the same edifice that means that they need to have enough distance between them and enough closeness something that connects them but enough distance because if you're like this all the time it doesn't work oh yeah i know what you mean tell me about it anyway but uh ma'am do any of the books that you've read speak about the concept of soul mates or what what is said about soul mates in our culture so again i'm going to go back to this if you think about your soul your soul is immortal right so it must be the largest thing in the universe when your body dies that soul is there there is not it's not possible for one person to satisfy your soul um okay you are the only person who can satisfy your own soul and at different times there will be different people


soul and at different times there will be different people men women children animals activities that will come in that will feed and nourish your soul at a certain time so i don't believe in soul mates i believe that you can be super compatible that you can find somebody that you have a really wonderful time with but then you need to cherish that relationship by giving yourself enough distance so that you have other things so that you don't make it stale but yeah on a personal note i must admit that to me my soul needs a lot of nourishment and it comes from different things got it and the last section of the podcast is all about a subject that i've been reading a lot about recently which is modern day witchcraft do you have any kind of knowledge about this yeah again you know in the western world we call them witches in the east we call them goddesses okay okay so everybody has within them a certain aspect or ability that you can do there i don't believe


ability that you can do there i don't believe that there is such a thing as putting a spell on somebody the kamasutra does have a whole section on putting spells on people um and if you read it you'll be laughing for one week okay because there's it's just so much nonsense so i personally even in tantra they say oh you know you can put a spell on somebody you can't in tantra the idea is that you actually develop your own awareness to the point that you know how to handle something or you know how to deal with somebody because when you become that that clued up you know exactly how the other person thinks from their character you can tell how they're thinking so you can't put a spell on them but you can definitely talk to them in the right way so that you can twist their actions like i said earlier a an effective leader always knows how to use a story properly no there's been no effective leader without a proper story you have to be


effective leader without a proper story you have to be a storyteller you need to be able to manipulate just a little bit always always whether it's for the good or for the bad always you have to be able to lead the people a certain way it's that simple so i think that um every person inside them has the ability male or female has the ability to be a witch if you want to call it a witch or to be a goddess if that's what you want to call it we all have our energies and strengths inside us i you know um i just find that with the moment we give it a title like that we start thinking of it in a negative way like whenever i talk about tantra people automatically say oh but there's this negative aspect to it and i i'm like no there is no such you know learn to listen there's a negative aspect to anything um so no i think that having said that i mean i truly believe that i must have been a witch in some life


that i must have been a witch in some life i'm a bit rich in this life sorry forget that forget it and in cornwall in one part of england there is actually a museum to witchcraft okay which is a fabulous place but if you go there you'll find that they have the most exciting things because in pagan times there were different things that um they would say were a witch's tools so one of the things that they have over there they have these little round glass balls almost like a christmas tree bobble that's where actually it comes from okay so these christmas tree bobbles or glass balls were supposed to be a witch's tools because uh you would be reflected in it okay and you could see your reflection and it was like okay i can see your reflection now i'm going to capture this reflection blah blah so similarly in ancient times the mirror was supposed to be a tool of witchcraft so you you know like um if you wanted your lover to come to you so let's say there's


lover to come to you so let's say there's a woman who wants this man to come to her and he she wants that he will not be able to think of anybody else what is the spell she would really put on him she would surround her room with mirrors so that each each place that he looked he only got to see her everywhere he looked he only got to see her and he couldn't think of anything else that was all he would be thinking about so you know there's a different way of dealing with witchcraft but yeah as far as i'm concerned um we call them goddesses we don't call them witches so i'm gonna give you an account of what happened in my life recently i was on a date uh someone had met over one of those apps and uh on a second date actually she mentioned that she's a practicing witch like that she uh she practices some kind of witchcraft so i asked her what that meant and she said that she has learned


that meant and she said that she has learned to do spells from her family like her grandmom was a practicing witch and i did feel this eerie sense of her trying to do something on me as well i don't know it was just like a gut feeling honestly i feel that when so i meditate a lot i meditate almost two hours daily and it kind of makes you very aware of your surroundings of the people you speak to of their energy and i just didn't feel the correct kind of energy and that's what made me exit that date and kind of read up a lot more about witchcraft and what i found is exactly what you're saying which is that yes there may be a world of spells but the world of knowledge that you gain from ancient texts your practices of yoga your practices of meditation they're able to give you your own internal spells through which you can lead people well through which you can as we said manipulate people well um and you can kind of


manipulate people well um and you can kind of work these so-called superpowers through your books so maybe that also answers that previous question about what does this world teach you so you are absolutely spot-on it's about energies okay it's all about how you use your energies now in um we were saying earlier that you know if you actually learn this is what your learning is you know you you arouse your energy you harness that and you understand how to use it and if you also have got yourself to that point where you can recognize other people's energies you you know every time now and then you meet somebody and say god i really don't like this person's energy it's too heavy it's like this or you say i'm so drawn to that person it's their energies like this and i think that is just what it is it is that person's energy it's the effect that it has on you because if i am very very jumpy it will have an effect on that other person if i channel


have an effect on that other person if i channel it in such a way that i want it to have a particular effect on that person that will also come through right so it's just about it's nlp it's the neurolinguistic programming you know it is really it is all about understanding your energies and for this like i said you know we have all these texts that go back into um our ancient past that talk about building up strength building up energy dealing with all of this and um we don't have those texts so we don't have our we don't have so we we today i find this is the other interesting thing as a storyteller people always come to me and they say so what is the takeaway from this and the thing is that as a storyteller we always say that you tell a story you let the story register you let it spread inside that person everybody will pick up a different thing you know depending on what you have chosen to pick up from that if i want to now lead


pick up from that if i want to now lead your mind that is the point i will come in at okay so we don't say that there is a takeaway we we say that there's an it's a it's the biggest tool of influence it's a story because everybody will take from it what they are capable of taking from it yeah so they they um this idea of the energy is very much like a story you know the your your energy surrounds you you let it spread you see what kind of impact it has or how you want it to impact the other person and similarly you want that to then be built up inside you so you were earlier when you were saying about what good is it when you um when you read these texts and so on today we took we look at it very scientifically from uh words like neuro linguistic program from white witchcraft from modern day which etc with scientifically laid out rules the old texts talk about intuition they talk about energy they talk about strength they


intuition they talk about energy they talk about strength they teach you how to use it so it's a it's a it's just a bigger area of influence that you cover gorgeous ma'am so the final question that i have for you is that if you could just again sum up a lot of the knowledge that you've gained over the years and just give the young listeners who are primarily men and i wish that wasn't the case but they're primarily men so if you could give men five kind of pieces of advice when it comes to relationships and love life how can they keep their partners happy okay so if i was giving five pieces of advice the first thing is that men need to or young men particularly need to understand that their partner is not them so that means that i am me and you are you and it's no point saying i wouldn't do this or i don't think like this you have to understand how the other person thinks take the time and trouble to say that person is


take the time and trouble to say that person is different to me maybe they will need to be approached in a different way only because think about it from don't okay point number two think about this as something that will benefit you don't think that you're saying oh well i had to do this for my girlfriend i had to do this for my boyfriend and it's so stupid think about the benefits to you okay if you want something if you want your relationship to go a certain way and you can understand how to make it go a certain way it benefits you so point number two was to understand that it actually benefits you so that you overcome that um thing in your head about because a lot of young men particularly i find um have this huge issue about what their friends will think if they are seen giving in too much to a relationship point number three uh women or well since we're saying this particularly for men and uh they could have either male or female partners but generally speaking


have either male or female partners but generally speaking most women like the idea of more conversation you know um a man gets a text message he'll read the text message as it is a woman gets a text message she will literally analyze every punctuation mark in it there is a full stop here why did he put a full stop here it's just the way that our brains are made it's just how it is so i find that one of the nicest things that the kamsutra says is about this exchange of messages you have at the moment texts you have whatsapp and so on use that to the best of your ability particularly because most guys are really not very good when it comes to face-to-face conversations okay they're not very good at speaking they're not very good at saying the right thing but the text message can really be formulated to be perfect use it to your advantage flirt tremendously with your partner on text or whatsapp use that to your advantage okay number four actually try and develop more interests


okay number four actually try and develop more interests i know that generally i mean i have two sons and a daughter so i can tell you this that when they were growing up the boys would come back from school i would say to them so what happened at school today nothing that's it okay my daughter it's very difficult to get her to shut up she wants to give you all the details so guys i know generally when out there with other boys the conversation levels are fairly um basic it's not too much um chatting it's more grunting there is going to be a need for conversation when you're with a partner you can't suddenly develop that side of your brain that makes you a great conversationalist fine develop other interests so that you have something else to talk about okay and finally it comes down to communication you know instead of second guessing the other person and deciding that okay uh maybe this is what you know this is what women like or this is what partners like oh this is what


or this is what partners like oh this is what we shall do not always but a lot of the times it's really good to ask especially if there is a hick especially there's a hiccup you know ask if there's a problem or you can see that there's actually something coming through which almost could be an issue don't try and figure out what you think would be the solution ask god it's the best way forward i'm not saying that it's always going to be perfect and i'm definitely not saying that it's going to be a bed of roses it never is but let that be part of the excitement beautiful masima anand thank you so much for being a part of the ranveer show i will be linking ma'am's handles down below guys so make sure you go follow make sure you go subscribe and any parting message for the listeners of this podcast ma'am yeah um i just want to say you know we talk a lot about the kama sutra and generally when the kamsutra is mentioned


sutra and generally when the kamsutra is mentioned we talk a lot about positions i just want to clarify why we talk about positions because i have had this in the past i've done a whole talk and people have come and talked about all sorts of deep stuff and one twerp will always come along and say to me but what's the best position ma'am i just want to clarify this okay according to vatsyan if you're going to have sex if you're going to be together it's got to be really really pleasurable for both of you if it isn't mutually pleasurable don't bother i mean it's not worth it however the first thing about being mutually pleasurable is that the sexual organs should be compatible in size so if the woman is too small and the man is too big or the woman is too big and the man is too small it's not going to lead to a very exciting love making however you can't choose your partner based on the the size of their you know like can you


the the size of their you know like can you imagine sending this in your one of your dating apps what is the size of it it doesn't happen and so these positions were these positions were created to help to make the sizes more compatible so if the man was too small and the woman was too big then they suggested positions where she would lie on her side um ties together legs pulled up etc which would make her a little bit smaller okay so the next time you go out to try and read the kamasutra which by the way is extremely good for you you know it will change your life don't try and pick up the kamasutra don't pick up a book that talks about positions and forget about the positions for a little while pick up a commentary which is why i'd written my book which was supposed to be the commentary on the kamsutra understand that there are other things that create pleasure and follow that gorgeous stuff ma'am thank you so much for all this information and i'm sure


you so much for all this information and i'm sure that we're going to be doing more episodes in the future so really thank you for being a part of the runway show thank you you


let's get everybody welcome to the Randy show you know they say that your external world becomes a reflection of your internal world Shilpa Shetty's a perfect example of that sentence she someone who's got genuine niceness inside her she's got genuine humility inside her when I was talking to her I felt like I'm talking to a human being and not just Shilpa Shetty and trust me when you dive deep into people's minds in podcasts that doesn't always happen some people keep the guard up some people don't want to reveal the entirety in front of the whole world Shilpa Shetty not so much she revealed exactly who she is on this podcast and who she is is one of the most positive for most genuine people out there she spoke about motherhood she spoke about her ambitions in life she spoke about her current role as a top fitness influencer in India a life post Bollywood she spoke about love and romance and above all she spoke about what it takes to maintain


all she spoke about what it takes to maintain an extremely positive in a world if you won't be lifted up from your dull day I promise you this episode of the runway show is gonna do just that for you enjoy ourselves welcome to another health fitness meditation positivity episode of the ratio featuring the lady who stands for this right now I'm sitting I do stand for it and I I walk the talk mr. Shetty gonna welcome to the language oh thank you I really want to have I have just one question sure are those biceps really made of beer at one point they were right now it's just made of spiritual energy just wonderful what you're doing and makeup on you yeah whatever you're trying to do you're playing a catalyst and it's really wonderful thank you ma'am so I think just before the pod cuz we spoke about how Luke could use a very close common friend and both you and Luke retain you know kind of inspired me to go from the bodybuilding version


of inspired me to go from the bodybuilding version of be of Isis to the overall holistic health as meditation healthy eating kind of be a wise herbs thank you that's a huge compliment and I'm very humbled yeah so my first question do you like most of the journalists who interview you is [Laughter] I really think that beauty is skin-deep and I'm I'm more for you know focusing on what's important and that's the inside and if the inside is clean it will reflect on the outside and I know you believe the same so I think it's the fact that I think peen I eat clean and that kind of radiates on the outside and you like you know the sight of that so yeah it shows up but most specifically for the audience my question because mam diet plan oh my god that should buy Shetty but it's it's really basic it's it's no rocket science they say that you are what you eat and it really is the same application in my life I made a modification


the same application in my life I made a modification for sure I think five six years ago that I decided not to eat after 7:30 consciously and that happens maybe 95 percent of the time so unless you know it's it's it's a situation where I may be doing a night shift or I couldn't eat for some reason the shoot got prolonged and you know it's important for me to have you know to finish my work then maybe I will extend my timing but then again I'm conscious about that I make sure that you know I eat after 12 hours the next morning so I have been practicing the whole intermittent philosophy honestly without contriving it on on on my own so all that has come into play now and yeah so that was the one change I made and then the other change a major change was giving up all refined foods so whether it be a white sugar white flour so that was another major change so you don't have any like fixed pattern of eating but you avoid


have any like fixed pattern of eating but you avoid certain things when you follow a eating pattern like intermittent fasting exactly so it's it's pretty much high-protein and now I've become a pescetarian but I can say that I'm I'm 95 percent vegetarian maybe 5 percent pescetarian yeah yeah that's the other thing I want to talk to you about a year and a half ago I turned my skit Aryan and eventually vegetarian myself and I strongly believe that it was the meditation which changes the biology of your body and then your body requests you to like stop even Jian Hui roti and I and people think that you know because I'm into health I don't eat red meat I'm your man Lawrence they love ya mutton yeah mutton Sukka with me those uh the funny thing is though I don't crave it anymore the shift happened very slowly consistently and very like gradually you know did I suddenly I didn't wake up one day and you know till up