energies so what are all these energies again your life force where can it move it can move along the body length and breadth of the body the biggest channel for it to move is the spine so the objective of all of this you grow subtler and subtler you become a better and better antenna if the energies move upwards along the spine and reach the brain and don't go downwards and towards the baser processes of life Ashwini mudra is to consciously is like what are they called kegels exercises [Music] they use the muscles of the pelvic pelvis around that to pull it up it's it's very possible everybody can try this but don't try this without supervision for long periods of time you pull it up consciously and you see that once there is that tightness there you will not find the baser instincts of sleep of thirst of hunger of you know all those you will this is magical to observe that those will naturally go down you don't have to


those will naturally go down you don't have to put an alarm to wake up early morning pull up your rectal muscles no we are now teaching yoga to people yes you you tighten them you need not okay I am doing it yes it is called as Ashwini mudra you try doing this through the day eventually that is how you are the pro even if the muscles are not they're tight the lock is on how do you begin you just do it for longer the simplest way is to sit in our the siddhasana or you I'm talking about all these aspects of uh Isha Foundation but that I've learned that is where I know these from is to sit in a particular Asana where the heel the the heel is naturally placed there at the muladhara chakra so it acts as a stop and a little stopper there you don't have to consciously you know tighten your muscles all the time and be like that if you place your heel there and it's extremely comfortable to


place your heel there and it's extremely comfortable to sit in that posture Beyond comfortable it's like as soon as you sit in that you feel like I'm home the one pre-planned question I had for this particular conversation was about mantras and uh when I was a kid I always saw my mom going about her Mantra you know while she did a Pooja at night and I think to myself that there's something about these Tunes but never really gave it more thought than that until I became an adult did a lot of om chanting meditation myself and that's the most basic most Primal Mantra and um and then there's a whole horde of mantras that arose out of Hinduism over the centuries my question is how similar mantras do spells okay if you truly know about how to use mantras because I'm reading a book by someone called om Swami the book is called the power of the Gayatri Mantra and I've realized mantras are even more than what I knew them to


are even more than what I knew them to be us so maybe the first question is what is a mantra according to you oh uh that's very simple I recently saw your podcast with om du matka also so his definition was spot on and it looks like some Sanskrit knowing person gave him that definition and that is the definition and all these three go together which is what manana is um internalization into the mind so just you know and is that which takes us across Tara the goddess Tara also the root sound form is from thrana so tarati the one who takes us across across what will come to data but multiple streams of thoughts that you had mentioned om Swami amazing amazing uh Guru I don't know I thought Amazon is an amazing man I thought I'll say but he is one of those very blessed human beings and it's a fortune that we have such a person highly recommend that book I highly recommend all of his talks all of his books visiting his


of his talks all of his books visiting his ashram I'm I want to uh and uh yeah I mean about mantras about mantras uh coming back to this topic of what these mantras are and are they similar to spells they understand the limited understanding of what a spell is that I have is you use a spell on something or somebody else right you turn something into something you take get somebody into your control you know you want something to manifest and use that spell these kinds spells are Outward Bound maybe maybe you know at least my perception of spells is from Harry Potter where it could just be to create a shield around you which mantras also do I'm a language guy so if you say spell I think okay spell is from spelling something out so that is the limited understanding of like work spell spell if I had to think of it and understand the word in its Essence I would think spell is something that you spell out in that sense okay okay that you chant out [Music] um


sense okay okay that you chant out [Music] um that's a very fair explanation it's not like about talking to you this linguistic angle I thought kind of root myself there so you need to find that routing somewhere because I I find that a lot of my curiosity is answered that way if I delve deep into what must this be where my what must its Essence be nomenclature religion is one such thing which I found so what is this whole thing about religion versus spirituality to legare it comes from religion comes from legare to unite to bind with something to you know to find Union with something it's a whole another tangent but I find like you've noticed I find that Clarity in observing where sounds are from what do they actually what is that beating heart within the word that is spoken that is the dhatu where is it coming from ayurvedic in the topic of ayurveda we saw how dhatu is the fundamental building block of that which holds Essence in Sanskrit the


block of that which holds Essence in Sanskrit the dhatu the same word is used to mean that which holds that is the fundamental building block okay that which holds the essence of the meaning like I said means Brilliance represents space is being in a good space is being in a bad space is that which goes through space Shankar is that which purifies the space around you sham shubham is shankara is the one who causes sham shubham Shankar is that which creates Wellness in the space around us sure is positivity shum is shubham Shanta nothu is one of the blessings blessings or curses those are spells right that's the general understanding of a spirit but today in your answers there's so many separate tangents I find the same thing with your questions but thanks there's so much brought up Linguistics before so I'm loving it go on sure um but about your very specific question of how similar are mantras to spells so and that is where I'm running


to spells so and that is where I'm running around that is uh so every sound of Sanskrit is a mantra any sound can be used as a mantra if you go by some gurus which is a mantra is basically a sound which can uh which holds a certain power which has been consecrated for some use consecrated again loaded word um in that sense let me tell you this every sound there are 50 sounds within the human body this is uh this has been presented to by me in a course called vakshuddhi now that you brought that tangents up there are so many bursts of thoughts happening it's good that is again precisely why it is extremely important how you utter the sounds of Sanskrit because even a slight nuan nuanced shift in the utterance can change the meaning drastically so Arthur is meaning is half right so a small uh shubha and ashubha so many people so School can't many people can't scandal many people I've seen pronounced so they they slight


many people I've seen pronounced so they they slight changes happen with different Regional influences bengalis for example say sha instead of sir namaskar but for sakala which is sakal sub everything you say shakala shakala in Sanskrit means a fragment so with stats just sir to sure there is a drastic shift in meaning that is why it is there are many cautionary tales from the puranas emphasizing this fact that why is it vital that you utter something perfectly when you're speaking a language which is as powerful as Sanskrit mantras are such sounds which are extremely potent and why are they potent like that the story is our stories are abundant one thing is all these sounds of Sanskrit are said to originate from Lord shiva's damroo when he struck his damroo 14 times that is the origin of all the sounds of Sanskrit alphabet some say some say all the sounds of Sanskrit are the skulls around makali's neck the Garland some say the all the


makali's neck the Garland some say the all the sounds of Sanskrit are the Bells around the waistband of goddess lalitha some say the sounds of Sanskrit are the body parts of masati when Shiva in the form of veerabhadra was carrying her corpse when she went into dakshas yagnya and she was just you know lost in that grief Lord Vishnu through his sudarshan chakra and that shattered masathi's body into so many different fragments 50 different fragments they fell across the entire geography of the land and each of them are ascribed with one body part of her which well and all of them have one particular sound associated with it each individual letter of the alphabet of Sanskrit is taken up as sadhana serious sadhana of one letter of the alphabet each of them are described of having very individualistic personified properties that one can realize that oh this sound from a is of this nature so like if you just sit in one place and go because it'll


you just sit in one place and go because it'll actually have some effect on you yes because my understanding now is that in the same way that you have massages or yoga asanas you know a certain posture will make you feel a certain way and do certain things your body in some ways every sound in Sanskrit is an internal Asana or an internal sort of massage maybe that you're going to some part of your this is your skill set of trying to make it relatable to the larger audience at large so um if we saw why make that analogy I don't I mean the sound one more thing is we talked about the chakras the seven chakras you already know it's common now across popular literature muladhara has four petals the bottom most bottom most has four The Sounds there are one shum shum and some and the the bija Mantra of muladhara Islam and the presiding deity is Ganesha called as lambodara at that particular at that part so lamborgh the


at that particular at that part so lamborgh the sound lump so any worship that you're doing to Ganesha with that sound Alum invokes that energy there is this like a beej mantra which you can just say in one place yes yes is it dangerous to put a beach Mantra out on the internet I mean that is not urgently how you take up that sadhana because you never really know what will come out of it how it'll affect you I'll quickly come true um that is why because it is the very beginning at the very base you start with Ganesha Puja all the time because he is the Lord of beginnings but you have to have a strong Foundation yeah to anything to get started to build on top of also I feel if your lowest chakra is stabilized you stop overthinking you can stay in one place and focus at least it's something I've used in my own meditations I always focus on the lowest chakra first to just be in one place remove my overthinking and


to just be in one place remove my overthinking and then proceed with other forms of meditation absolutely that's been my uh analogy for why you begin pujas with praying to ganpati um absolutely the PJ mantra for muladhara Islam and the four letters uh that are associated with each each of the Petals of muladhara four petals are bam sham sham and some each of them again having their own individualistic properties and muladhara whatever qualities and attributes it is associated with each of them have that individual attribute and if you start chanting like you said that one you notice where that position is in your body you can Target the Nadi vyavastha the body is comprised of many many nadis Nadi is a channel of energy so these sounds activate and and represent the nature of the energy system in that particular branch so all the aspects of human capabilities that are associated with that you make use of the sound there in every chant that is associated with uh that particular capability you have that sound the muladhara


that particular capability you have that sound the muladhara has four swadishthana has six [Music] we should be 16 and agnya uh two and sastara is infinite Beyond so all of these the numbered ones if you count them up they'll form 50 petals and those 50 match up with the 50 sounds of Sanskrit alphabet 16 Bubbles and 34 consonants wow and all of them have these geological uh you know presence of different shaktipitas and because they are all aspects of the Divine mother the goddess each letter of Sanskrit alphabet is called as a matrica Mata being the goddess the mother Shakti matrica an aspect of the mother the story does not end and this series of sounds when they were when they came out of shiva's damaru Was Heard by Panini and was set in a particular sequence which sounds very like very much like the sounds of a damaru uh you might have heard of this chant which is called as mahishra sutras and this forms the basis of Panini's


sutras and this forms the basis of Panini's ashtadhai which was in a popular discussion a couple of months ago but this forms this just 14 sounds is one sound real Rook is one sound in that there are 14 sets of sounds from this with this as the base Matrix Panini then made or made sutras very succinct small formulas of grammar describing different sandhis samasas how you synthesize words out of sounds and this is one of the fundamental fields of study you need to have a grasp on before you go to the study of Vedas like you need to actually have an understanding of the sounds and what effect it has on your chakras your body then you can go into The Vedas not to that extent but you need to know that there is there exists a field like this that there is a connection between these and this is where you need to this is the perspective with which you need to approach so that you are able to grasp and unravel the verses of The Vedas without


and unravel the verses of The Vedas without this holistic perspective if you look at The Vedas they sometimes they might make sense sometimes they might not make sense but if you have this understanding now these start to reveal meaning and this is one limb one aspect there are six other there are vedangas you might have called a matter of word so this one we were talking about is the shiksha aspect of it there are six six limbs to the study of Vedas shiksha we talked about chandas vyakarana so in any particular order you can approach one and you need to have a holistic perspective of all of them including jyotisha and kalpa kalpa is all about rituals unless you have a holistic perspective of what all of these fields of study are what the perspective is if you take up suktas or you take up verses and and chants from The Vedas you not have a holistic perspective I have not gone into what each of those other six mean yet we


into what each of those other six mean yet we are still at the level of shiksha which is sounds you could just give like words because we won't go into those shows shiksha is what we are talking about how sounds are potent what do sounds mean and what what kind of impact they have where did they originate from shiksha and after that comes chandas chandas is one of my most favorite fields of study which is how syllables can be arranged in a little you know what lilt in a initial way in a flow in a rhythm uh one short one long syllable it is the same chandas on Ganesha and the chant of from Narayan name that I was talking about it just gives me such high because it's so artistic how those words form those patterns has enormous enormous meaning so many layers of meaning foreign describing the physical beauty of the mother goddess in a poetic meter called shikharini shikharini which means that this offspring of ishikara mountain offspring


means that this offspring of ishikara mountain offspring of a shikhara is the same name of Parvati the goddess who is the daughter of a mountain himawan it's the the parallels that are drawn by that pattern is the way it is it's Gayatri is one of the chandrases like that anushtube is one of the poetic meters like that it's a fascinating enormously rewarding field of study I have to boil it down to the basics again okay what are the other four yes yes I'm coming back I'm winding up because I'm trying to just exactly and this we are done uh the next one is vyakarana which is grammar which is how words combine and how if there is a word how do you analyze it what is or you know what is verb adverb uh a rough translation literally it means that which is unspoken that which is felt and perceived so like how I was telling you that uh you know Rana the sound Rana is used in gati and


Rana the sound Rana is used in gati and dhwani so there are multiple Boo the sound boo is used in it is to denote presence of something the existence so there are these sounds and what they are used in context of that is etymology roughly translated as and there is um kalpa which is uh how you arrange rituals how you know what kind of mantras to chant what kind of altars to make what kind of offerings go into a fire what kind of chance you make at what time all guidelines on into how you conduct rituals towards very specific benefits and there is uh jyotisha which is the study of Jyoti jyotisha is again translated translated terribly into astrology Jyoti it's in the word itself going back to studying the essence of the word itself Jyoti is light so what are the celestial lights that are upon us how do they impact us which they see seem to be changing on a on a daily basis they seem to have some kind of


a daily basis they seem to have some kind of an influence on how human life is how creatures around us function how life has taken shape all of that is jyotisha which has mainly been boiled down terribly into predictive predictions and no sooth saying these days but jyotisha is a very complex field of study which involves a lot of mathematics anybody who thinks it is pseudoscience would should pick up Surah siddhanta they'll spend their life studying the mathematics behind it um so it is so these six limbs uh uh form the six vedangas Char limbs of Veda one must be aware of each of them is a unique field of study in its own which takes lifetimes but if you have a holistic perspective of all of them you now can unravel The Vedas and start learning them okay keeping in mind just mantras because I have to close the loop on this month of conversation because it's going to go deeper into his Mantra conversation let's do that um


deeper into his Mantra conversation let's do that um every sound of the Sanskrit alphabet and devnagri in general has an effect on uh your chakras is the script it can be any script this is the way you write it the shirore is Bangla has its own script Guru mukhi has you know Malayalam Telugu everybody has their own script devnagri is the normal Hindi it's the way to express it but actually it's a writing system okay sounds of Sanskrit even Bangla and all these other languages will basically be built on sounds of Sanskrit yes okay so I'm wondering in Bengal where so much sure is used more you said sure represents what sham it's the third petal in the muladhara chakra okay yes do you think because maybe traditionally damn now this is becoming a little philosophical do you think Bengal as a region was more focused on muldhara prayers that's why sure kind of made it to the Forefront in that country I think it's more to


Forefront in that country I think it's more to do with Cuisines and and the you know the kind of food the kind of regional climate that influences the structure of one's tongue wow what sounds somebody is is you know is easy it's easy to attach these sounds and it is not easy what are these sounds these are prominently found everywhere across the country in Telugu some some sounds mixing up has to do with how they write it in the script in Telugu for example are very similar except for a single Dot okay so a lot of factors influence all right okay so we can't go philosophical there but this is what mantras are and some rishis or ancient researchers kind of figured that this combination of sounds has this kind of effect on the human mind and existence because it's related to this kind of deity now how do you explain to the masses what sounds and language and vibrations mean you attach stories to it to make people understand correct that is what I look at as


people understand correct that is what I look at as the origin of mantras from a very like realistic perspective when we imagine we go back in a time machine to 15 000 years ago how would you explain to the masses who maybe didn't have the internet then maybe uh how do you explain to them what mantras do probably put it into stories absolutely oh you I thought you were asking that as a question and I thought I'll give you this answer yes the stories are okay yes but well mantras specifically the question was about mantras being spells and I use spells because of the limitations of the English English language so mantras have an effect on your existence that is why they are called mantras okay yes uh do you want to add anything more to this Mantra angle the the point that you brought about brought in the beginning when you're saying that these mantras that are present within again going back to that same shlok these correspond to those particular deities to worship them the Mantra is not


deities to worship them the Mantra is not different from the deity and the deity is not different from the yantra and the Tantra is so the Mantra yantra Tantra system the all of it works as a whole unit okay so you you don't say that you know the ganapathi Ganesha is different from Ganesha yantra it is the same thing it is an it is a diagrammatic description of how the how that muladhara chakra is we are not common this is It's a story definitely a story that somebody who had the physical features of an elephant is riding around on a rat come on I mean or you know all the symbolism and what kind of weapons he holds what kind of physical features he has what is his vehicle what is what what are his attributes what kind of food he likes what kind of I mean we're not he's not coming and eating we are feeding ourselves all of that was to empower that chakra and that is where this deities are from so the interesting one


is where this deities are from so the interesting one very potent text which boils down the essence of all of these is compo is compiled by Lord parashurama the disciple of Lord that tatreya it's the text is called parashurama kalpa sutras kalpa the ritual again which talks about how you approach the worship of each individual deity starting from Ganesha at the very muladhara going towards Bala tripura sundari towards uh subramanya and towards uh so these are this is again the same system of going from muladhara to sahasrara so how do you move from that which is the baser instincts of Life towards that which are the subtler instincts of life in a ritual format not as sitting down and trying to you know pump up your life energies either through pranayama or through any other physical means but through a process which is very external which does not need as much discipline if you think about it it does not need a lot of internal discipline


it it does not need a lot of internal discipline this is a lot of external symbolism you gather these pujada ravias you make it into a whole societal Affair so there's a lot of celebration around it you know you do not no longer feel this process of refining life energies as something which needs a lot of discipline and something which is very you know daunting task it's baked into the very cultural ethos of the land that these are the deities these are the relationships with each other and this is the kind of food you offer to each of them this is the time of the year during which you worship them these are the rules for the fast isn't it genius that instead of that you work towards the same human upliftment but without the rigor and without that boredom or that you know that monotony monotony that without making it you're talking about off yoga monotony of the monotony of systems which are much more uh serious in their approach this is


are much more uh serious in their approach this is doing the same thing in a celebratory way right with Mantra job being the basis of it all of it so Mantra yantra Tantra like I said all of them working as which is why they say that in most modern day Hindu households you're actually following Tantra without knowing it absolutely absolutely yes it was actually someone called acharya Prashant where I asked about Tantra I have a lot of respect for him yeah same almost well read people I've met in my life and he and Guru are not I don't think they are it I don't know he his take on things is very easy he's different from everywhere you had on the show but he's very well read and uh he said that you know people don't understand that most modern day Hinduism is actually Tantra yes but when we hear the word Tantra we automatically think of tantric sex ghosts etc for which we have rajashi nandi to break down all those uh even what


nandi to break down all those uh even what he's saying is not you know totally all you know scary stuff it is how it is yeah Guru puts it as we are all ghosts we have a body they lost it um yeah okay yeah uh which brings me back again to okay you've answered like this Mantra question now I want to dive deeper a friend of mine told me that the Gayatri Mantra Mantra are two of the most powerful mantras in uh Hinduism let's answer the question of the Gayatri Mantra first let's explain that what is it before you ask that question two of the most powerful mantras definitely but the Mantra that you have mentioned before the pranava that's it you don't need anything omkara I mean yeah the Gayatri Mantra is great mahamrityunjaya is wonderful and you know all the other chants each lokas all the stotras you know the different there are panchadashi and shodashi and the ashtakshari panchakshari mantras great


and the ashtakshari panchakshari mantras great wonderful but the one Mantra to rule them all is pranava you don't need anything else you mean just oh that's it that's it that's it that's it that is the sound from which everything it is the sound of creation as so why do these even exist then for specific purposes that is the overarching you know and answers your ultimate life questions straight away like where do you need to go you need to hit sahastara go for it don't do sightseeing go for the final thing liberate but I want to do some side scene you want to do side thing you like this time you know things of life you want those vashikarana mantras now we get into Tantra you want a lot of knowledge you do sharada Mantra you do you know first it's the first time in my life I'm hearing these words which one is Saraswati another way of saying okay okay so Lakshmi and Vara he is the tantric form of


and Vara he is the tantric form of Lakshmi I recently did a chant on shyamalad and come what is shyamala is the tantric form of Saraswati Saraswati we all know as this very satwik white sorry clad sitting on a White Lotus or a white swan holding a winner and this particamala the crystal Mala and you know very satwik goddess yes as the sat with pursuit of learning and then there is goddess who is like all fears like dark aspect of what is Saraswati not in the terms of she'll cause you any harm but she is much more over encompassing as in if you want to pursue a field of study which is not necessarily satwik which is rajasik or even tamasik there is a goddess of learning those kinds of aspects as well because it's not like they are you know bad or wrong it's another field of another aspect of creation they also exist the Raja second thomasic aspects okay so you


the Raja second thomasic aspects okay so you notice you need not always do a field of pursuit which is all you know goody goody yeah um again I'm trying to simplify this for the audience okay I love it in Harry Potter when they say expecto patronum it has a certain kind of effect versus when they say something else it has an another kind of Guardian live yourself yeah so all those experience it has a certain kind of temperance or my favorite I did not get into Naruto as much it's a great representation of visually what mantras can be in Dragon Ball Z when he says there's a blast but my angle on mantras is you're still creating a blast but you probably can't see it it's perceivable it's tangible it's still subtler it's of course and if you visualize it you portray it now you're you're saying that the omkara is the basic mantra for you to connect with the higher power The Duality God that exists if that higher probability


power The Duality God that exists if that higher probability is within you why are we thinking about somewhere else okay I was pointing towards the sahasa then fine okay uh but all these other mantras that you're talking about yes have certain kinds of purposes exactly okay now keeping in mind the Gayatri Mantra and the mahamrityunjay Mantra whatever purposes it's the chant itself okay thankfully not every Mantra need needs to have a tangible mental meaning but both of these do the core purpose of Gayatri Mantra is that intellect the mind prachodhana is to stimulate it to lighten it up you are worshiping who guess sorry doing a quiz kind of you are worshiping the Sunday 80 in Gayatri Mantra so Savita um this is the split I did a video on it no there is this thing called that you do when you try to understand in Sanskrit because in Sanskrit that is the flexibility it did not necessarily have a b c d e that specific sequence of a sentence


b c d e that specific sequence of a sentence construction you can jumble the words along with around in a sentence without changing the meaning in most of the sentences so this one Gayatri Mantra is accessing the variety of the highest source of energy in for our life as we know it here to access it so that it propels our minds forward it's a download of Knowledge from the highest form of energy not down knowledge I don't know but it is accessing it it's like you we all have it within ourselves we are products of the sun's energy activating it and seeking it to propel our minds forward okay it's a way to create a deeper connection with the sun yes in order to access higher forms of knowledge of our own capabilities of capabilities he is not always around knowledge the this buddhi is intellect as it's generally understood but perception which holds say when the Sun is setting or sun is rising it's a good time to do a Gayatri manually absolutely what if you do it at


Gayatri manually absolutely what if you do it at night I mean you can do it but the highest as effective I mean there is what if you work out and this is anything you have you do it something you are you do it well right there's a text what if you draw but you draw it with a wooden stick okay still draw but the question is understand correct so basically to get the maximum benefits from a mantra yes you follow the rules around it my question is okay we are propelling ourselves forward through the Gayatri Mantra Is this different from an omkara it is towards buddhi and the DHI and it is Seeking a specific deity for a specific purpose is the sequence of uh planes of existence lokas they're called so in that sequence of going from the gross to the subtle may this glorious Radiance of the sun Propel us forward so it is Seeking a very specific deity of or that energy of the Sun for a very specific benefit similarly mahamrityunjaya Mantra they


specific benefit similarly mahamrityunjaya Mantra they are all very specific benefits or Ganesha Mantra Krishna has a very tantric Mantra so there are very specific and so if you want to Empower your capabilities of learning you access you use as per specific yantra you chant that specific Mantra you you worship that devatha not because there are some four armed creatures sitting up there they are symbolisms of how of what that nature of human ability is and it is there in our physiology because it is an aspect of creation and this Mantra yantra and the devatha represent that in a physiological in a diagrammatical in an energy sense that is what you are empowering okay foreign that is the biggest mystery of life that is the hard if the science really has hard questions of science as they call it this is one what the hell is death is it just cells decaying and not regenerating if what happens to this human consciousness if there is such a thing so mrityunjaya is to gain Mastery


a thing so mrityunjaya is to gain Mastery over death and there are many stories about why Lord Shiva is mrityunjaya and why he is mahakala and all that by mystery over death you mean immortality no it is the question right so right now we are here we have known so many people so those who are not there anymore where did they go what happened to them right is there such a thing as life after death what happened what is death even so if you ask those fundamental questions of who am I what is this life what is the purpose of this that is that should also be a natural question as to what happens to life what is happening to life where did we come from what happens next is there next have you seen a movie called Soul it's heard about it's an animated Pixar movie is this the one uh oh I think I've seen it it's about death nicely made no it it actually was very similar to the stuff spoken about in autobiography of


similar to the stuff spoken about in autobiography of a yogi which I found really that in the children's movie they're talking about all these deep concerts about love after life this is the same movie where there is this one Soul which doesn't find a fit yeah it was very it was lovely I kind of liked it was in a fun uh they tried showing very deep Philosophy for children yes in a fun way yeah and I highly recommend everyone go watch Pixar soul I think so I I hope you're talking about the same you know we are yeah there's only one movie where they talk about souls taking rebirth and all that dude sure I don't think multiple animation movies but that is that's extremely fascinating no so if there exists a cell which is beyond the body and mind and the what happens to that self after the body and mind fall apart so there are many ways in which death happens right there you can break the body and it no longer is fit to


break the body and it no longer is fit to hold the self within so you either decapitate it or you know any any kind of physical harm you bring about it it no longer becomes viable to hold it or with age the body slowly becomes you don't suddenly cause that decapitation it slowly with us away in time so in both these cases what when when is it that even Consciousness enters that ball of Flesh that was formed after the fertilization of the egg so there are texts which talk about it of course none of it may be down there time there is some research that comes about proving all of these uh these verses but at this particular mandala after a mandala period that is when the a life that that is when a soul or Atma I don't want to use these words but that is when a soul enters a fertilized egg and embryo which is still just a bunch of Flesh that is when Consciousness enters it is what they say and it


Consciousness enters it is what they say and it is after that it takes on a conscious form and is able to uh perceive itself and uh where was I going with this and which kind of you know Soul gets into what kind of a womb and what kind of an embryo is also matched so if parents are of a certain kind vasanas they call it vasana literally means a smell but the Tendencies of what kind of you know inclinations they have what what they like what they dislike and that brings two people together and that is what this soul that is there that has left one body but yet is is yet to dissolve into creation it'll find that embryo is what they say all of this is there in the scriptures but is it tangible provable what kind of measures do we have do we even have Scopes to measure such things nobody knows but there exists information and if you have some kind of you know uh reverence and kind of faith that okay these people like


and kind of faith that okay these people like shankaracharya and patanjali and panini would not lie to us on purpose it would make sense to believe such I've got to bring you back sorry sorry Mantra is worshiping one form of Shiva four armed form where he is constantly bearing himself in nectar being pure and there is this very beautiful imagery of the personified form of mahamrityunjay Mantra the the verb from there the seeking is to liberate oneself from uh death like a God now the god the watery pumpkin or God all these gods they separate from the wine the creeper if so they notice this and it is it happens so effortlessly just you don't even know that generally how of coconuts fall they're not done so that's not let me not go out with a lot of struggle let me exit the body in the in the most effortless ways possible as if a God is separating from its wine is the name for the God bandhana is the


wine is the name for the God bandhana is the bondage from the bondage of this body and mind may I be liberated maybe I find Moksha like urvarukam like a god I yeah worship there is only one English translation Word Worship but I I do my satna I I worship the three-eyed one why in this particular Mantra this form of Shiva is being worshiped as the three-eyed one the third eye is again very symbolic of the deeper state of perception as to what is the nature of life and with that realization that with two eyes we see that which is physical with the third we see that which is beyond physical that is the symbolism there and it is before moving ahead do you want to just say the mahamrityunjay Mantra once sure foreign the you want me to break it word by word that is my comfort zone I'll become thank you just break it I just picked up some words here and there like the key verbs go for riches the one who is the


key verbs go for riches the one who is the one who enhances Vigor and strength pushti comes from purana and it's it's like fullness Vitality we go why do I worship Him [Music] so from like a god separates from its creeper like that effortlessly release me from this bondage of death from this liberated so it is not towards staying eternally youthful or Immortal it is as long as I'm in the body he is make me fragrant make me so Shivam bhutva Shivam Japan there is this word which is you don't worship Shiva just like that you become Shiva yourself to worship so whatever qualities attributes you are ascribing to your deity of worship the objective is for you yourself to inculcate such attributes so sugandh he's fragrant he is Suchi he's shout his pure and pushti vardhana he is the one who in his no full of Vitality and vigor as long as you're alive you live well and when you die you


you're alive you live well and when you die you die with that effortless Passage what effect does the Mantra have on your existence before your death so if you start saying it every day of your life or if you actually start doing that whole 108 times you live well a full live a full-fledged life they say akalamrityu which is untimely death through breaking the body and some kind of a disaster will not happen to you and when the body when the self exits the body it happens effortlessly it doesn't generally it happens with a lot of pin a shock a lot of trauma is what they say yatana yatana is not exactly pain but there are a lot of bhairaviatana they call it and like there is this uh I don't know how far the modern science has come to understanding it but at the moment of Passage they say the entire life flashes for a fraction of a second and one goes through all the traumas that one has gone and then quits


the traumas that one has gone and then quits the body then leaves you have to live through your breakups again [Laughter] that has been a good life or it's been a boring life you have not ventured to the hard Pursuits of life I know it's not artists haven't I've had no you like if you venture into something which is new I hope it does not but you know you find pain in so many ways man life has its ways you live through all those pains again go through all that okay they say but this Mantra will avoid that bhairaviatna and makes it you know if someone wants to understand the nature of death they should look into this book called garud puran ah it's come up so much on the show yes uh and now you're kind of giving me a solution to the things because even talks about the suffering at the moment of death it's a huge text it's almost 110 20 chapters it's a fascinating text maybe I should cover it sometimes yeah on


text maybe I should cover it sometimes yeah on the verses of it it covers everything from economics to kind of where daily conduct to sexual activity how to kind of householders Duties to to the descriptions of Heaven and Hell what kind of punishments await those who Those who commit these these kinds of sins that's stuff like oh you have to float through a river of boiling oil the animals will eat you and give you the same pain that you have given to other animals by eating meat there's things like that because we've had a few people talk about it on the show but the questionnaires again about mahamrityunjay Mantra so what I have understood is that it's saving you from the suffering that you will encounter during the moment of death and at the same time protect you from an untimely death yes at the same time it'll make you live to the maximum potential that you contain as a human being brilliant summing it up what does that mean live and fulfill your maximum potential materially


that mean live and fulfill your maximum potential materially happiness wise yeah living well like healthy what is living well like Pleasant for this I'll borrow heavily from sub gurus because I wipe fully with it what are the faculties that we're born with we have our body very obvious so no DC's free body lovely like vibrant healthy body fabulous done another faculty is our mind Keen sharp intellect you know and and an ability to dissect through everything to see clearly what there is to see and keeping it Pleasant free from sorrow all those negative patterns and uh you know uh self-inflicted suffering lovely great mind is happy you have your emotions there which is connected to the Mind similar things emotion just takes some time to adjust but they are happy they are loving compassionate great and the life energy that is breathing have have alive you are how vibrant you know your body is and is it you know allowing you to wake up early in the morning fresh full of life or you know it's


morning fresh full of life or you know it's pulling you back in every Pursuit that you are on I think we've given the audiences a really thick heavy piece by this point uh every month we intend on always releasing a podcast related to Hinduism to uh spirituality in some form and I think this is the podcast of the month for us too much to learn man is anything you wish to add to today's conversation because we will do a second piece after this specifically about celibacy and all the stuff we were talking about outside sure but for this conversation about Sanskrit how do you want to close this chapter hmm lovely that you express your interest in picking up Sanskrit and the study of Sanskrit at you know some some stage of your life but like I said you know most of it like we don't need to start from scratch most of the people who have grown up learning some Indian language and the amount of of the vast portion of knowledge there is to explore is


vast portion of knowledge there is to explore is immense and it's so relishable it is not that all of this is something that you have to uh you know either carry in your head as some kind of informational burden or you know uh or something which is lost in time all of this is accessible all these texts from like I said again there's so many bring please bring on more experts on your uh show and bring uh you know more con more focus on the actual content because I feel there is a lot of fluff on the internet people want to talk about Sanskrit coding yeah it's it's the best language it's the dev Basha it's uh but exactly what it what it is which is so valuable what are those lines what are what do these rituals mean what are those shlokas that go and and describe all of these these Concepts in such depth across all fields of study the actual content of it that content of Sanskrit in Sanskrit is what that uh I I would like


Sanskrit is what that uh I I would like to see more on the internet I am working towards it definitely it's not happening at the pace that I would love uh like it too because the amount of like I said the amount of content across where it feels is insane because music dance everything and across all these languages I'm again on this um Journey uh to explore sanskrit's presence in all parts of what was Bharat to see how people Kings Saints composers uh all all sorts of geniuses in every region where you know experts in their own individual in their own Regional languages but also produced magnificent works of Sanskrit from ADI shankaracharya in Kerala to madhachari of Karnataka to swaminarayan and uh of Gujarat to abhinava Gupta in Kashmir so in in Bengal odisha jayadeva is there in odisha so there are so many such marvelous pieces of composition which delve into such diverse topics I would like to see more of


diverse topics I would like to see more of it on the internet with your team I would love for you to produce more content on it I'm always behind the young up and coming content creators in this field to try and help them to explore these and present this to an audience so with your power of the internet I wish you cover more of it in its authentic format so thank you so much for this opportunity for presenting it to some extent on your show thank you so much fun thank you brother uh one thing I will say is that we've made lots of storytellers but very few researchers who talk about Hinduism you're one of the researchers and I feel the researchers are the actual Diamonds the storytellers have a place have a role uh have a very mainstream angle on things but the researchers actually fuel the storytellers and all the actual uh Seekers so that's the only say to the audience that please subscribe Channel guys like share and subscribe there's a lot of growth yeah


like share and subscribe there's a lot of growth yeah to be got through Sanskrit Sanskrit is a key that unlocks knowledge and here you have a master key sitting with us so thanks brother and uh see you again on the show very soon would love to thank you how's the episode for today post this we did one more episode centered around celibacy and the yogic way that was also a stellar episode and that's the nature of this man's mind is extremely well read but more importantly he's experienced about all the things that he has an opinion on trust me we've just scratched the surface when it comes to his knowledge I will direct you to his YouTube channel the Sanskrit Channel if you've watched the podcast till this point remember our meditation app level super mind is now live on the App Store on the Play Store so make sure you go check it out the link given down below will give you a week-long free trial for you to begin your own meditation and yoga Journey for


to begin your own meditation and yoga Journey for more episodes just like this make sure you follow TRS on Spotify every episode's available on Spotify 48 hours before it's available anywhere else in the world TRS will be back with that knowledge punch once again very very soon thanks for listening in [Music] thank you


the concept of Love bombing right I will love you intensely at one point with all my heart and soul and everything together and then sort of then step back when you see a lot of like couples you will see that there was an intense amount of Love bombing in the beginning and then now let's move on in life now we are married so we can just carry on with life for many people if you play the game right the longer you wait the hotter you date or the better you date which is turning out to be true for a lot of my friends as well like their Partners uh at this point are much better than previous partners and keeps getting better do I have a a bunch of friends who are older who are dating older for sure and they are loving it they were like yeah it totally paid off because what I have now I would like not trade in for anything and this is the one and I am sure of it I'm sure that there's a lot of you who clicked


sure that there's a lot of you who clicked on this thumbnail because of the thumbnail and because it's Valentine's Day this is a Valentine's Day special of TRS we have a love and relationship special every single year I will request all of you to also check out the podcast we did on happiness which released last week it was with this same expert in Psychology hyderabadwala in the last episode we learned about therapy from a therapist's perspective the Mind from a psychologist's perspective and about happiness from a mental health perspective this one will dive straight into the world of romance it keeps getting deeper with every single minute of this podcast the juice the nectar of this podcast is going to be present towards the end of it we put time stamps for every single episode that we release on TRS so scan the timestamps for this one you'll understand where this conversation goes spoken about some extremely deep but also perhaps controversial topics like BDSM like infidelity like polyamory this will be an eye-opening


infidelity like polyamory this will be an eye-opening and heart opening episode it's a romance special on DRS enjoy yourself for more episodes like this make sure you follow us on Spotify every episode's available on Spotify 48 hours before it's available anywhere else in the world make sure you download beer biceps's own meditation app level super mind we are going to be uploading lots of couples meditations and love related romance related meditations very soon on level there's already a lot of stuff present on the app for singles and I know a bunch of you are single on Valentine's Day you might be feeling a little low about it flow with life don't worry about it it doesn't mean that love is not coming your way it means that life is preparing you for the perfect love to be accepted by your heart as is the case with this episode I hope that it helps your heart become more ready for the love that is going to enter your life a conversation about love with a psychologist begins now


a conversation about love with a psychologist begins now [Music] thank you it's Dr Love time with ranveer labadia and Hawaii welcome to a psychology special it's a Valentine's Day special but back to love we're also going to be talking about the dark aspects of love you spoke about so many dark things outside about how it's difficult to love openly or correctly in Indian Society just because of how we've been raised as Indians there are certain things that happen in our upbringing which then affect our relationships but also there's gonna be a lot of singles watching this podcast I don't even know where to begin I knew I wanted to speak to a psychologist about love but I have no idea how we should begin this conversation start start from what is the feeling what's the feeling that's coming up when you hear about love well love Shahrukh Khan in the 90s the poor is the man yeah I mean at least that's my image offered you know pardes of course


that's my image offered you know pardes of course uh that movie that's [Music] set the tone for what I perceive love to be throughout life and I've unbolyodified myself over the years quite painfully through experiences through understanding that life is deeply unpredictable and if you think you found somebody gonna marry chances are it may not happen so you can't repeatedly think that I've had to unlearn certain patterns and you would find out the hard way and then there's a 29 year old almost 30 year old version of me who's unlearned so many patterns who's learned to be a much better partner to whoever I'm dating who's almost I'd say ready for marriage like a lot of people my age but also single like a lot of people my age so uh that's where I'm at and and I've had lots of spiritual folks come on the show and say that you know maybe marriage isn't really needed maybe it's a social construct but I still believe in love I


a social construct but I still believe in love I still believe in marriage yeah because for me I think my happiest State happens when I'm in a stable relationship I've just learned that over the years that's that's absolutely right because we tend to love with what we have seen like it's a mirror image right if you have grown up in a home which is like very nurturing very loving very loud about love you know physically verbally you will put that out into the world because that's your version of Love or if you've grown up in a home that's the polar opposite oh yes then that's that's really distressing it's it's also very distressing because you yes you may crave it but also you may not know how to show it you might end up doing something very wrong without realizing that it's wrong let's talk about uh the clients you've seen over your course of being a psychologist to a lot of people in their 30s and 40s come to you with relationship problems I'm


and 40s come to you with relationship problems I'm guessing that is the case 20s also 20s also yeah 20s as well and uh it actually doesn't matter what age you are at you know like people from different age groups come with different problems of that life period so for example um let's say a couple is coming to me and they're between the range of 50s and 60. okay they've made it that far so to speak right but they come with a very different problem than the ones in the 30s the ones in the 20s so the generally the older ones come saying that is just not working at that point yeah at that point that is just not working like we would think that they've ironed out everythings therefore they've gone so far it's not the truth yeah my mama and my mommy are the happiest couple that I know and my mommy sat me down once and said listen to build a perfect relationship it takes work every day including today it is a full-time job you have to


including today it is a full-time job you have to go to work if you want salary if you want a promotion if you want to keep it going if you want to keep growing you have to show up yes there are days sick leaves there there are those things there are people not showing up and that's why like we have a lot of uh couples collapsing in their systems right so you have to show up like do not take it for granted do not take it for granted that my partner is patient my partner is kind my partner will understand yes to a certain degree everyone understands to a certain degree then before you know it you don't realize it but the like I said the system has crashed please elaborate more on the problems people have in their 50s I'd assume that everything's okay in your 50s you made it past that 25 year mark of your marriage so either get divorced earlier or I don't know what happens what because you change in your 50s as well


what because you change in your 50s as well you change every year of your life and if you change like I've seen let's say successful Partnerships they grow together they grow together it's not that one is Left Behind one is ahead of the other one they grow to understand each other they grow together no matter which part of their life it is yes and it's never equal you want longevity in a relationship it's not going to be equal we all learn it the hard way what does that mean it's never equal uh it's never that one will be like both are understanding it's not a 50 50. it's not always a 50 50. you will see long-term relationships where it is not 50 50. we would like to believe it's 50 50 and that's the idea and the idealistic Viewpoint of it but it's never 50 50. is it a way of saying one of the partners also take a step back in their careers not always it could be a step back in many things not just careers


be a step back in many things not just careers it could be any points of your life it could be like some sort of responsibility some you know like moving is a very big commitment things like that it could be anything it doesn't necessarily have to be career it could be just in a heated argue argument moment that you need to step back you need to have the wisdom saying that okay right now is not the time to speak to my my better half because they're going through an upheaval I don't have to retaliate I don't have to always give a reaction just do like a timeout to like a timeout check in with yourself reassess the situation and come back so when you're saying it's not equal you mean on like a daily basis every day is going to be slightly unequal every day sure maybe there'll be Parts phases of life where it's unequal but it's there it's there we would like to think otherwise but it's not the case like most of the people that come


not the case like most of the people that come in one has given way more than the other one the other one does not realize that the partner is pulling along a lot of weight so communication is very important very very important we all know this but despite knowing it there is a lapse there is a lapse because we don't do check-ins we just take uh the process for granted that we're here we're sorted family is there children are there partner is there everything's cool everything's fine everything may not be as cool and fine I think true love like the truest most practical formula is about creating an illusion for your partner and making them feel like magic is real but actually it's the illusion you've created and if both can do that for each other great but that's not the case that's not how a human being because magic ends at some point and reality hits hmm this podcast is about that reality of Obama so we gotta we gotta talk about that reality honestly uh divorce rates are going


about that reality honestly uh divorce rates are going up cheating is going up yeah uh it's why so many people might feel the concept of marriage or long-term commitment um why is that happening why is infidelity going up why is divorce going up I don't think it's always just about going up but I think it's just louder now I think things have existed it's just that we have become more accepting to being vocal about it and that's probably what has changed massively yes and people not showing up like if you are married you need to show up you need to be around you need to be there like I said it's a full-time job whether you're married whether you're in a long-term relationship no matter what it is whether it's a friendship while I love or whether it is you need to show up you need to show up and people not showing up people not being there has been one of the biggest reasons and this is not condoning divorce or cheating uh but it's


not condoning divorce or cheating uh but it's the bitter truth of it when you say showing up uh you mean putting your Consciousness into that relationship right or actually physically definitely putting in your effort like even if you are not there suppose you've had many many and this is a very like chronic problem that a lot of buzzy Indian City couples have that you know they are unable to do even a date night why to just occupied there's just work the work ethic now has become so solid that almost everything else also becomes a back seat and it's the unfortunate truth it's scary the world has become very expensive everybody wants the best of the best right so you need to like be at work what about this whole arranged marriage thing why are so many arranged marriages working hmm interesting question ah so many of my friends who've actually gotten arranged marriaged they um a much happier than my friends who've like uh Gone on the love marriage path so if I


Gone on the love marriage path so if I had to see like maybe the honeymoon phase of it right like every relationship has different sort of phases and you know just in this time in this generation that arranged marriages are working I think in the beginning when you get in there's a huge honeymoon period that happens mostly uh whereas if you see like people who've dated for 10 years and things like that and I have Aunt who said something very wise she's like I don't understand what you all do for 10 years you date for 10 years what is it that you do like everything's done you may as well why don't you just get married in the beginning there is some truth to it like it's very subjective again there is some truth to it this works for some people but it doesn't work for a lot of people as well right so two perspectives is that I think they have a you know maybe a more uh I don't want to say greater but a more understanding star they don't


say greater but a more understanding star they don't know each other there is exploration there's a lot of romance there is attempts for connection so all the things that sort of you know break down later on uh there's a huge rush of adrenaline in the beginning so maybe you need to reassess another few years down the line as to like is it still working does it still work Fair because the formula is going to change let's switch back to the 20s now the clients you have were in the 20s I'm assuming people begin therapy usually in the mid to late 20s okay that's right 20 to 30 all right yeah uh what are the concerns like and what's happening wrong especially when you compare to the older Generations two very different people date and you know the the expectation or the theme or the blueprint that's laid out is that I'm going to help this person change and then getting so involved and so stuck that you also lose your sense of identity you know like in hope hope is


sense of identity you know like in hope hope is a very toxic drug and it's interesting to talk about these very positive Concepts in this connotation but it's very important that too much of anything can be a bad thing a lot of my guy friends my age who've dated younger girls and now I've begun to date people like Neo eyes say that they prefer this much more because the older girls are now uh kind of closer to us in terms of experience and our lack of Hope almost life kind of Beats you up into being a little practical yeah I'm just narrating like I'm really it does happen everyone has their like own Journey so one of the things is that yes different people sort of end up together and I'm also being different but there needs to be a common ground as well you can't be 80 different and 20 similar okay 20 different plus eighty percent similar maybe will work much better on the longevity of a relationship what counts as similar you mean like habits likes yeah like there


as similar you mean like habits likes yeah like there are people who like literally have come and spoken about the tiniest you know things and issues and you would not think that in the larger scheme of things that that's a real issue but it's also the tolerance that you've built up over many many years that you've allowed certain things to slip and slide you've not said it from the beginning and then people say oh but you've changed after we got married I was like this but I did not communicate and maybe that is my fault now that I realize it that I should have said it to you it could be as small as toothpaste yeah or like she did this like this instead of this like that oops and they are very Petty but the culmination of you know tolerating a lot of little little little things then everything getting in cashed at one point that is a very big problem I'd probably like to highlight One Life Hack I saw on the internet it was on a reel someone


on the internet it was on a reel someone said that ideally in your relationship try finding someone who has fun doing the same thing that you have fun doing so if your fun activities are common chances are little work yeah that's one of the very like that is a major major hack like for let's say couples that have floated away from each other and to sort of bring them back closer that Common Ground works very well what are some activities like this hiking hiking watching movies plays go back to the time when you used to date what were the things that you did that worked maybe that's something that you need to sort of revisit that's very important you know their work did not like stop there it has to sort of continue there's also like the concept of Love bombing right I will love you intensely at one point with all my heart and soul and everything together and then sort of then step back and you're like what happened so be mindful I won't say be practical I'll say be


I won't say be practical I'll say be mindful Is This Love bombing thing very common uh people don't talk about it too much but it is it is there like when you see a lot of like uh couples you will see that there was an intense amount of Love bombing in the beginning and then now let's move on in life now we are married so we can just carry on with life and then that's where the disparity sort of like kicks in that what happened this was like this how did this happen I signed up for this I did not sign up for this uh [Music] uh okay anything else you want to say about people in their 20s um same thing for everybody actually don't think your partner knows don't have this assumption you might have to tell them you know this has been a problem for me with some of the people I've dated that um and it's something I'm trying to work on over time but two three of my serious relationships have requested me to know things


of my serious relationships have requested me to know things without them mentioning and then I say that please say it if you want this I'll do it but they don't agree to that yeah they don't because you're supposed to know you're supposed to know how can you not know but you love me does this mean you don't love me is this real love oh my God is this real love if you don't know what I want then is this real right and a perfectly good relationship could go down the drain so uh it's okay to meet people in the middle it's okay to tell that being said you shouldn't become a parent and have to tell the other person every time what you want that's also very exhausting no no I wasn't that yeah no like it could be for anyone right like you don't want to become a parent in your own relationship and say okay now today again has it ticked off is it's no it shouldn't be on a to-do list no I I hear you and


on a to-do list no I I hear you and I feel this whole EQ education relationship education is very important for Our Generation we were talking about how moral science and ethics was the most important subject that we didn't pay attention to in school oh yes uh I feel this is one of those other modern day subjects while we're talking about the future of education and learning Ai and Entrepreneurship I feel life is also so much about your relationships and if you are a romantic it's so much about your romantic religion and working on it you're gonna spend so much of your life you're gonna sleep next to that person you're gonna you are you know experience trauma with that person so yeah people need to learn how to be better relationshipers they do they definitely do and I'm a huge believer that most things start with education basic education you start from school whether it is you know topics like mental health psychology value education like a lot of uh people my age right now we are struggling with our parents


my age right now we are struggling with our parents growing old different kind of love you really have to be at a different level to love the same parents because they are changing they're not the same person so that is very difficult we always are like okay everyone talks about bringing up kids can someone please make a manual on what to do when your parents grow old because no one prepares you for that and essentially that that topic of value education that topic of moral Sciences ethics values that one free period that we used to have we call it happy period because we used to do nothing at that point unfortunately those were made for this those life skill periods were actually made for this what do you have to learn about that like taking care of your parents what are the what is actually entailed oh at a very very deep level very deep level when people change and change drastically right uh and I saw this on David Letterman show and he said something very beautiful and heartbreaking in the same breath he said


beautiful and heartbreaking in the same breath he said I still go visit my mom she's 90 years old but I don't recognize her I don't know this woman that I'm visiting all right and that is a death of a personality a personality that you've known for very very long you don't know what to do with this new person you don't know when you had to grow up and you don't know when you had to become a parent so that's very hard that is why a lot of people say get married early have babies early finish it off all early so that when you are let's say 60 your parents are 85. catching 25. that you have a baby and there's a lot of Peace over there at 60 if your parents go for example you feel like huh okay lived well live good can't deal with it amazing whereas when you have children much much older the journey is very difficult right from like conceiving to you know bringing up kids the older you become the harder it is


kids the older you become the harder it is it is hard the flip side of this get married early is that and I see this with so many my friends they're rushing into marriages because of societal pressure yes it's become a tick books it has become a tick box it's like okay time up ho Gaya like before 13 need to do this and then they just they just settle which is very scary what does subtle mean s maybe you've just settled with the best thing that you could get at that point in time or you have convinced yourself okay this is the best I can do now before 30 if I want to get married it's not going to get better than this I'll tell you one more very harami angle that an older guy told me and I don't know how true this is but honestly my experience I think I'm starting to see that there might be some truth in it but he said um for many people if you play the game right the longer you wait


if you play the game right the longer you wait the hotter you date or the better you date which is turning out to be true for a lot of my friends as well like their Partners uh at this point are much better than previous partners and keeps getting better yeah you can look at the flip side that I I do have a do I have a a bunch of friends who are older who are dating older for sure and they are loving it they were like yeah we waited and while they waited they were whining but it's okay never like it totally paid off it totally paid off because what I have now I would like not trade in for anything and this is the one and I am sure of it what do they have now a lot of clarity a lot of focus a lot of Independence oh there's an interesting sort of uh again Instagram reels right some things are very educational uh you have the a person and the age person right so the a people are constantly like dependent on each


so the a people are constantly like dependent on each other now imagine if this goes away hmm right but the age people continue standing the connection can go away in the age but they still left standing you yourself also are very secure in your skin by the time you reach a certain age you're okay with being alone you're okay with being alone you're okay in your ways some people are extremely in touch with blessed and lucky that they have a great social support system where they don't feel alone because of the friend groups because of the friend groups because of where they are in life because of the things that they do they don't feel the loneliness from the outside it could look lonely but it's actually they really enjoy their solitude difference loneliness was a solitude I can be super alone I can be very happy it's like if I put you in this room and I let you meditate you would just be happy and that's a Solitude that you enjoy right so there is a lot of happiness


enjoy right so there is a lot of happiness in that Solitude it feels good when you see on the other side when you think like oh my friends are married and they have babies and you know when they bring their children home and when they come they have changed as people you might not recognize them also and kids added to that we all know kids are not easy we love children sure but we also know there's a there's a crazy hardship into being a parent and bringing somebody up that's a life dependent on you so you're bringing a different version of yourself in so lots of changes lots of changes is it true that two non-toxic people can get together and form a toxic relationship and one toxic person can date a non-doxic person but still have a non-toxic relationship one of my girlfriends told me this who was fine she was all right like I was all right I feel if you're too non-toxic people but we had relationship problems for sure so even when you're not doing something


problems for sure so even when you're not doing something you're doing something what does that mean like if you feel like there are non-toxic patterns I think every relationship has a little what we call gamey feature we call them playing games and essentially what it means is that there is a certain amount of negative exchange that happens like what I have never come across I've I've come across very healthy couples but something or the other goes wrong if it's not because of them it's something from the environment can enter and Trigger something off it's that whole angle of people saying that relationships always need work and you need to come back after your fights sure sure but I think everyone needs to decide what their rules are like don't work on the rules of society key no you can't like there's a very common one that says don't sleep angry like sort out your fight sort out your fight before you sleep and all that is again very idealistic in most real life scenarios there are lots of people who sleep


real life scenarios there are lots of people who sleep at night and wake up in the morning and then they're just better they're just better because they need the cool down basically don't attach too much Theory to your relationships like all these things we see on Instagram and all it all of it doesn't apply to your relationship definitely definitely you need to take what works for you just like Instagram no Instagram you need to see what works for you like you may think that you're parents or there's this power couple and they work and it's sorted we don't know the nitty-gritty of it and you need to take away what works for you you are a different individual they are definitely something to aim for but they're happy and you are happy are different it's very different so it's not the same formula always um other people in their 30s also who don't find love and then get frustrated absolutely so why have they not found love by that point uh uh sometimes it's just waiting for the one and you know


sometimes it's just waiting for the one and you know waiting for the one they don't allow themselves to explore they're not ready to compromise in some things I don't know about compromise but what they want is a perfect package in the first shot and a lot of people need to understand that there are things that get unveiled when you are in a relationship nobody is going to be perfect you yourself are not perfect can't expect it from everyone um I gotta bring you back to people in their 20s yeah I have so many friends who are totally into having casual sex I have friends who are completely on the other end of the spectrum who only believe in serious relationships and I have a bunch of friends sprinkled somewhere on that Spectrum in between do you have any opinion on casual relationships and what I mean by that is casual sex and the impact it has on your mind maybe when you're exchanging that much information with those many bodies uh you're left with like an overload on


bodies uh you're left with like an overload on your system they're definitely can be an overload on the system um I'm not against casual sex at all I think that it you need to be a little mindful about how many people sort of keep a track I'm gonna be slightly more scientific about this in the sense that if you do opt for casual sex because we cannot like dictate what happens in people's lives right if you are doing that and if you think that's what you need understand where is that need coming from to constantly engage in multiple partners where is the need coming from it could be from any just a sense of belonging maybe like just to fizzle out extreme stress stress Buster like the hormonal addiction the hormonal addiction so those things are very real as well so it needs to be maybe looked into Maybe the personality type also is that it's okay impulsive casual sex is fine nothing wrong with it it's a very momentary gratification and then when you


a very momentary gratification and then when you look back most most of my clients are like we don't know what we were doing there like we really don't know what we are doing now because it's very impulsive and it's very in the moment and then it just sort of flies by what do you mean it just sort of flies by then it's done and over with it's literally like that but what I would urge people to do is sort of definitely you know get yourself checked get yourself checked on a maybe six monthly basis if you are sexually active go to your gynec go to your GP go to whoever it is that you go to and say that I want to check for STDs I want to check if everything is fine over there what's going on over there sometimes there could be parameters in the body that are excessive for example excessive amounts of testosterone right that could lead to a lot of aggression it could also you know increase libido things like that we don't know and we different


things like that we don't know and we different people have different sort of addictions as well right just the way we are addicted to substance you could also get addicted to sex because it gives you such a great High I have taught about this in Psychology School yes and no yes as in yes we are taught about it in a very technical manner uh there's a lot of it that you learn from people out there when they come and talk to you when they tell you the why behind the world when they tell you the why behind it they tell you what is happening uh this is something that you learn from different perspectives over time so like I said the book doesn't teach you everything so I'm gonna talk for at least straight menu all straight women also uh what is this journey of exploring sexually what does that mean and I'll tell you why so strong into some friends at this house party I went to recently someone said that a lot of younger people are very heavily into


a lot of younger people are very heavily into BDSM now because of 50 Shades of Gray it's become much more mainstream thing all right and then someone else who was actually a psychologist said that do you know the layer under BDSM do you know what it means like if new people are engaged in what it can do to their minds and the relationship and then that was a whole unpacking conversation yeah yeah uh the question I don't want to ask you is I will talk about this in Psychology school but it does is that what exploring sexuality means not just not just about BDSM and I I urge the people who do sort of engage in it I would say that uh you all know you're supposed to have like signals and words and words of like caution that this needs to stop now things like that you need to be again mindful about engaging because you could get very very carried away does it benefit relationships does it not again is that subjective I think it's objective and also


is that subjective I think it's objective and also maybe it's a certain level of you know displacement that is happening like maybe you are not maybe you are an aggressive person but maybe not on the outside but you need to sort of let it out and the only other way you can do it is in the bedroom with your significant half that's one explanation that's again a very very subjective thing why would someone be okay with taking on the aggression now really like a lot of people actually say that to themselves that it's okay uh as long as you're happy I'll take whatever you give me just love just love the the the the reasoning is that could they be they might not be okay with it but they do it under the larger Banner of love that you need to do it like my partner is getting pleasure from this I'll do it yeah you use the word outside hedonistic yeah what does that word mean again pleasure driving pleasure from Pain could that be a part of it probably


from Pain could that be a part of it probably yes like on a very physical Primal level you're being hedonistic yeah yeah because BDSM so you have sadism and masochism at the end of BDSM right so there are people who actually do enjoy the pain they like that little bit of pain for some it's not little for some it's a lot a very interesting uh sort of percentage that I can tell you back in 2000 and 9 10 maybe earlier than that there were seven percent debts in a western country I will not name the country seven percent deaths happen because of asphyxiation in bed so if you say a hundred people died seven people died in bed wow out of asphyxiation that's a high number it is a high number I'm just still trying to understand though one layer deep version of this what makes someone hedonistic is that the correct word correct usage uh would you mean that what makes someone sadistic or masochistic I I mean why would someone masochistic derive pleasure


I I mean why would someone masochistic derive pleasure from getting pain themselves yeah because it's a it's in again it's a addiction it's like being addicted to a substance you know the substance is not good for you it's a temporary high and a lot of people don't realize this but they also get addicted to the low that the substance gives you feeling like [ __ ] feeling like [ __ ] they like feeling like [ __ ] so it's it's very warped it's very warped and you don't realize it till you actually sit with yourself at another level and be like is this what I want is this what my brain wants is this what I've done to myself could it be a childhood thing where you treated like [ __ ] as a kid so again it's that whole comfort thing what do you spoke about one of the things but it could be some other it could be anything because once childhood goes and you become an adult you have experienced so


and you become an adult you have experienced so much in life that you don't know what it could be damn okay and again in your experience I'm sure you had clients who've like been a part of a BDSM equation what effect does it have on the long-term relationship so again subjective um I think at a very Pro level they're very happy with their sex life at a certain point yeah yeah yeah they're very happy that they are engaging in this it's very spicy for them there's a rush it's different there's creativity uh there's creativity there was a whole lot of sex show recently about how someone was making sex rooms I can't remember the name of the show but there was uh I don't know where there was on I think it was on Netflix and there's an architect or an interior designer who focuses on how can I make this room to the taste of a couple that wants to engage in their version of a sexual script so at that time if you are somebody who's


so at that time if you are somebody who's into Manila sex she would make it very very vanilla with a little bit of spice and she would also do this thing of like making people experience a little more spice because sometimes once you're done with vanilla you want to know what else is there so she also introduces them to other subjective experiences where she takes them to different places who know how to deliver you know the whole BDSM experience not in the harsh manner like sometimes we think of BDSM as like really beating someone up and someone's here whipping it there's a technique to it there's a technique to it which is an acceptable technique and both Partners need to be okay with it I know that some people have contracts like yes actual contracts yes yes they do they do hmm whoa we began so innocently in Shahrukh Khan now in our ddsm well Shara got coming back wow what a conversation ah this is what I like about the Indian internet you know I


what I like about the Indian internet you know I don't think we were ready for conversations like this even two years ago it's evolving so much I don't know how many people will be ready now no no they're ready people I hope so the internet has just become very ferocious so they want edgy conversations like this they do they do and it's a fact like it's going to keep it's going to keep changing emotionally sexually you need to sit you need to have a conversation you can't be like oh but you should understand are we sexually in the age of BDSM I'll tell you why I say that I say there's just so many of my guests from the world of media content generally is becoming so dark and the dark content is doing better all over the world in movies on YouTube Etc that's that's a good point because darkness is much easier to create to be in what to be in yeah today I will tell you I'll give you the example of people who come and sit


give you the example of people who come and sit in front of me I asked them what are three good things about you tell me I kid you not it's a very rare occasion where people will be like I'm this I'm this I'm this I'm this I'm this and they'll give me five forget three they'll give me five right it's a very bad occasion but I ask you hey what are the things that you think you need to work on or what are the things that you feel are not so nice about you or something of that sort right in conversation they'll be like I'm this I'm this I'm this the reaction time the response time is like amazing if I ask you tell me 10 bad things about yourself you will come up with 20. and that's what everybody is feeding on is just and it's a slippery slope it's a slippery slope because you can become self-deprecatory self-deprecatory yes but also it's just so easy to be negative because happiness is a lot of hard


to be negative because happiness is a lot of hard work oh okay being positive being happy and at this point I'm not even talking about toxic positivity or like you know Alpha motivation and all those I'm not even talking about that just day to day happiness it is a lot of hard work people consciously decide who they're going to talk to now so that they can feel better about life because constructing that happiness that love it's hard sometimes people don't want to do the hard work they just don't one is because they've not seen it and change is just very difficult it's just very difficult um younger people college students now like 10 years younger me gen Z primarily a way most actually active that's true right definitely yeah why is that I think it's in the conversations it's how people have projected things outside things have become more open definitely okay uh what effect do you think that's having on them psychologically and I'm I'm not trying to like criticize them I just generally want


trying to like criticize them I just generally want to know an objective answer is it having a positive effect on them because I'll tell you there's a thousand positive things about gen Z the top of which is that they're not as judgmental as people my age are slash work they're more accepting maybe that's a positive outcome being more sexually active hmm it could be positive it could definitely be negative I think that sometimes uh when you're young and now I'm gonna talk from a very like biological perspective of when your brain is developing at that age and you know we also come from an age of instant gratification everything is a right swipe left swipe swipe swipe swipe you get into bed with someone that's that it could mean that they are falling prey to certain patterns which are toxic for them okay which is why we also have things like okay at this particular age you can start voting for example or drinking for example associating cognitive development along with responsibility okay not just


associating cognitive development along with responsibility okay not just rash right uh that being said there are adults also are still making lots of mistakes today who are not quite there yet point is that again be mindful whatever you do be mindful about it like if you think that this is becoming an addiction if you think this is becoming a part and parcel of your life where every second day you're waking up with somebody different just sort of take a pause take a pause and see what's happening is this what you want you know this is other angle I have some gen Z cousins they told me that being a virgin is very very looked down upon oh yeah that's so weird absolutely when we were that age nobody even spoke about being a virgin everyone didn't ask each other over their sex lives absolutely and that's something that uh so I can definitely like uh share this I did go abroad to study and I made a lot of friends from a lot of Western countries uh and


of friends from a lot of Western countries uh and they could not understand how let's say 25 year old people were still virgins you know we had a lot of conversations over a dining table where one of them was this they're like you know we literally get into bed on the first date or the third date like how do you not do this right and on the flip side we were like we feel that other things are more important than sex getting along with each other the emotional intimacy the bonding that is what is really important versus the sex the sex will happen is sex important yes it is important so it depends how you sort of look at it but they could they just couldn't like and this was maybe like 10 12 years ago that we're talking about that oh my God how are so many Indian men and women sort of still virgins at such an older age isn't this something you need to experience when you are much much younger don't you think this is fun and the perspectives


don't you think this is fun and the perspectives are different I mean there's nothing wrong there is nothing right one man's wine is another man's poison subject of cultural reality absolutely absolutely to the point where sometimes if I would talk to my parents on a daily basis they would be like again you spoke to your parents and I'm like don't you talk to your parents and they're like no and I'm like why like and I'm very like loud and proud about it that yeah I just got off the phone with my folks like don't you call your parents don't your parents check on you isn't that weird like hello so again culturally subjective you know I've realized like sorry I'm gonna take a minute um I did attempt a podcast with somebody one time I was like I was traumatized after it because that guy was like you keep talking I'll ask questions yeah this guy has information for me so I can keep going back and forth with him a lot of new content creators


and forth with him a lot of new content creators think that this is really easy and he literally said there was me Mama and I'm like I know that perspective is not right and I finished the podcast and I said please don't release this I I don't think it is a good podcast I will give you somebody else and very neonation like I was the second person like he was interviewing and things like that I'm like I just want to say this doesn't work like this and it's mental health you need to be very mindful of what you are saying and there was no connection this guy such beautiful connections he makes all of a sudden he's yeah yeah brings me back it's it's really that's why we can go on and on and on and they can change into their pajamas and we will sit here it takes a lot of talent to sit on that side it really really does take a lot of talent to sit on that side be aware of what someone out here is


that side be aware of what someone out here is saying being able to weave it into the knowledge that you have and like exchanging it and saying hey you know this was the neural version of it and this the spiritual version of it what's your version of it that takes a lot of hard work it doesn't just come out of you know thin air or anything of like that like it really comes from a lot of dedication determination a lot of hard work I think hard work is the main thing because we've done around 400 something episodes now so I have perspective from a lot of different genres but I was pretty [ __ ] on my 10th episode it was just questions yeah which is which is absolutely fine because you learn what to do and what not to do as well right like with every experience you realize that oh this particular person was like this now what works with this person now 400 people people into it you have an idea of how to sit in front of someone who's a stranger which


sit in front of someone who's a stranger which essentially is what I do and you know sort of have a conversation and that that is not everybody's cup of tea yeah you know the thing is you said something about talent I agree because for me Talent is a combination of so many factors from your past so when I talk to my mum today we talk about geopolitics history all sorts of subjects and I realize oh she used to do this with me when I was five years old yeah that's why I like conversation yeah my place of comfort yeah uh which is why it's become my content now uh but why was I born to that mother who enjoyed podcasting with me in private you know and that's one fact I went to school which is very conversational my friends were very conversational I went to engineering College which was all about breaking it down so too many things have led up to this point of becoming a podcast yeah and it's also a very prominent part of like your romantic


also a very prominent part of like your romantic life where you need that sort of stimulation now that you can't do without because it's also and also when you are learning and when you're exchanging information there's a relationship getting built out here one of the best relationships that you will see like and I've seen over time and this is not for everyone but great parental figures have great relationships because of the storytelling and my main panel because I don't mean like just your mum and your dad I could mean your caregiver your teachers why do you love your fourth standard teacher think about it great stories great stories it's literally great stories yeah you know that's what I think communication skills boil down to the storytelling skills definitely you can capture that you're done yeah unfortunately everyone's not good at it people really lack at it uh but there are tools now which help you change the way you communicate like there's a whole different genre of psychology called narrative therapy really yeah and it's by Esther


narrative therapy really yeah and it's by Esther peril and she's fantastic and because we're doing this relationship episode I highly recommend if you enjoyed this go check out Esther Perez she's absolutely fantabulous and the things that come out of her are like literally Pearls of Wisdom and she's she is really shaking people up saying that infidelity exists understand why does it exist she said something very intelligent which uh you know sort of has stayed with me and we were talking about why has cheating increase or why is infidelity increased so much so people are changing and maybe I like my version of myself with this external partner versus the partner that I am married to and it's a big Dhaka it's a huge Dhaka on the system but if we're talking about layers this is a very interesting important layer to understand that just because I've completed 50 years of being married doesn't mean we've evolved in the same way we've had different time zones probably as well and this is a


different time zones probably as well and this is a very real thing loving yourself while you are in a relationship is very very important a lot of people lose their Essence they lose their minds because they've just given the the partner every single thing don't do that that's not love that is not love and that will not even last and another very important thing and I'm sorry I'm just not going on like this [Laughter] so I have often seen a lot of good friendships uh become relationships that don't work oftentimes dependency gets transferred or translated into love dependence on another human being as your friend yes you think and they think that it'll be a good relationship but for so long we've been friends I'm sure we can nail the dating it's not always true I know people who've been friends for very very long they even dated each other and when it came to being married they were very different people very very different people so it's it's really it's not that just because you could do one you can do


that just because you could do one you can do the other one and the other one you need to identify okay is this a dependency or is this love because that is a conversation you need to sit with an external person and have because you can very easily fool yourself into thinking I would never ever do this for anybody else I'm sure it is love that I've gone out of my way and out of my bandwidth and out of my boundaries it could be anything it could be a game that you're constantly playing with yourself maybe you have unintentionally fooled yourself into thinking that it's love um I just want to move a little bit from all these complexities that we're highlighting and make one very simple Point yeah which is that I feel and please correct me if I'm wrong maybe this is just my subjective reality all the most serious relationships of my life when I saw those girls for the first time ever something had happened some Spock had happened yeah uh and I put all my friends